I like shows where the female characters are as funny as the male characters, not just commenting on how funny the male… — Graham Linehan Copy Share Image
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front… — Robert De Niro Copy Share Image
John Cleese was a big hero of mine. He grew up in Weston Super Mare near Bristol where I grew up; he… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
Earl Hebner used to call me 'Tiger,' so I went with the last name Woods because I thought it was funny. I'm… — Xavier Woods Copy Share Image
Girl: Take the condom off ! Boy: Why? Girl: YOLO. Boy: Okay, but if you get pregnant, YOYO. Girl: What's that ?… — Giftthabest Copy Share Image
A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
I was never trying to be funny. Being funny feels to me like an alternate form of confessionality - that is, a… — Dan Chiasson Copy Share Image
The gates of thought, - how slow and late they discover themselves! Yet when they appear, we see that they were always… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
You got to find a woman that can cook. How you gonna last 50 or 60 yrs?.. Most people say, well we'll… — Phil Robertson Copy Share Image
The role of a comedian is to go in and make something funny. That might be a situation where I'm writing, a… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
When I was in high school, there was 'Superbad' and 'The Girl Next Door' and 'Wedding Crashers' and all these great movies.… — Miles Teller Copy Share Image
Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Son - I want a baby brother . Mom - your dad is overseas. When he comes back we will talk over… — A Josland Copy Share Image
“I can’t believe he’s making you wait till January for an appointment.” “I could threaten to bomb the school. That’d get me… — Jeannine Garsee Copy Share Image
“I made a sad little noise. If my dick had been capable of noise, it would have made sad sounds, too. Thank… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
People always ask about my dad and his comedic influence. It's funny because my mom is really the comedian of our household. — Dan Levy Copy Share Image
I find it funny how at British festivals there are such inflated egos. It's rare that I even talk to anyone at… — Ben Howard Copy Share Image
I've never found kicks to the groin particularly funny, although recent work in the genre of the buddy movie suggests audience research… — Roger Ebert Copy Share Image
Q: What's your opinion on long distance relationships? A: Honestly, I know a lot of the time they don't really work out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To me, crying is not a sign of weakness. She wants it that bad and she puts her whole heart into it.… — Kerri Walsh Copy Share Image
“There was a group of fans who wanted autographs, and several women who managed to write their phone numbers on Wade's hand… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
I know what is funny coming out of my mouth and what is not funny coming out of my mouth. You have… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
Staring down the barrel of a gun is the scariest thing you could ever experience. It's not funny. It's not for the… — Christina Milian Copy Share Image
If you think about it, there aren't that many women who are in their 40s, who are Jewish and funny and stage-worthy. — Amanda Peet Copy Share Image
I have a jar at home, and I put pennies in it whenever I curse. The other day I spilled the jar.… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
The heroines in 'That's What She Said' are flawed, messy, damaged, hilarious and culpable and not really concerned about being acceptable to… — Carrie Preston Copy Share Image
“So, tell me about this guy. Did you meet him at work?" "Eww. You know I'm related to everyone in the restaurant.” — Ashleigh Stevens Copy Share Image
When you see someone flirting with the person you like, and they flirt back and you're just sitting there like: Oh… cool. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“She’d ceased spying upon him, that was true, but the damage was done. Every time he sat at his desk, he could… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
Let's thank WWII vets for defeating Hitler and making America safe for lunatics who compare our leaders to Hitler. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Children recognized me from 'Home Alone' in Baghdad when I was visiting the troops there. When I was in Japan, when I… — Daniel Stern Copy Share Image
When you begin your work, nothing exists. When it is finished it looks as if it just happened, spontaneously, effortlessly, convincingly. It… — Eva Zeisel Copy Share Image
“Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door… — John Green Copy Share Image
Originally I had planned to write just a couple of children's books and then, return the focus on adult literature. A funny… — Nikki Grimes Copy Share Image
I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic. Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery,… — Lenny Clarke Copy Share Image
I hope twenty minutes of watching fireworks is worth the three hours it takes to find parking to watch fireworks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He’s sitting casually at my kitchen table peeling the skin off an apple with a pocket knife, a red apple that he… — L.H. Cosway Copy Share Image
On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
