Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What… — Dennis Miller Beacons Copy Share Image
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Dark Copy Share Image
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this." — Dennis Miller Humans Copy Share Image
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut… — Dennis Miller Blow Copy Share Image
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. — Dennis Miller Equal Copy Share Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place. — Dennis Miller Esteem Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want… — Dennis Miller Abortion Copy Share Image
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. — Dennis Miller Giving Copy Share Image
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. — Dennis Miller Coming out Copy Share Image
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Dream Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Closets Copy Share Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in… — Dennis Miller Brain Copy Share Image
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet. — Dennis Miller Alphabet Copy Share Image
There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the… — Dennis Miller Data Copy Share Image
The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or… — Dennis Miller Bad guy Copy Share Image
The Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts. — Dennis Miller Cowboy Copy Share Image
The left promises abortion rights and cradle to the grave protection, so the trick is to make it to the cradle. — Dennis Miller Abortion Copy Share Image
Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about… — Dennis Miller Abortion Copy Share Image
Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign… — Dennis Miller Campaigns Copy Share Image
I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays? — Dennis Miller Factors Copy Share Image
TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and… — Dennis Miller Denominations Copy Share Image
Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in. — Dennis Miller Book Copy Share Image
A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George. — Dennis Miller Clock Copy Share Image
I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what… — Dennis Miller Agree Copy Share Image
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![“I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's…” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2ee/dennis-miller-1315_factors_i-like-the-show-factor-because-it-s-horn_232788.jpg)
