I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The next time you get the urge to shut somebody up because they don't see the world exactly the same way you… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this." — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
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