TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
And I know your next move, I watch you so much, 'There's been no proven link between the secular state of Iraq… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Think of Iraq as "East Korea," because it was a shoot the cuffs war for the edification of Kim Jong Il to… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah,… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man,… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes,… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song,… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Teresa Lewis, the only woman on death row in Virginia, says she doesn't deserve the death penalty because she only hired the… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this." — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
![“I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/141/dennis-miller-1315_coverage_i-cannot-tell-you-how-proud-watching-tha_683433.jpg)
![“I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/152/dennis-miller-1315_corn_i-think-ann-coulter-understands-that-she_3233735.jpg)
![“[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it's just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you've never met is sitting at…” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a02/dennis-miller-1315_america_the-internet-is-an-amazing-communication_3028391.jpg)
