Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The next time you get the urge to shut somebody up because they don't see the world exactly the same way you… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't.… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this." — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image