It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey,… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this." — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
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