Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know… — Dennis Miller Bases Copy Share Image
“Quote: You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven okay? ” — Dennis Miller Eating habits Copy Share Image
I'm glad I don't have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you'd be better off giving your money… — Dennis Miller Addict Copy Share Image
I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that… — Dennis Miller Coverage Copy Share Image
The next time you get the urge to shut somebody up because they don't see the world exactly the same way you… — Dennis Miller Amendments Copy Share Image
In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's… — Dennis Miller Agnostic Copy Share Image
When your mother starts using the word "party" as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy. — Dennis Miller Crazy Copy Share Image
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. — Dennis Miller Funny Copy Share Image
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible… — Dennis Miller Acceleration Copy Share Image
I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best… — Dennis Miller Best Copy Share Image
I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more… — Dennis Miller America Copy Share Image
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt. — Dennis Miller Aids Copy Share Image
There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and… — Dennis Miller Approval Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm.… — Dennis Miller Allegations Copy Share Image
If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem. — Dennis Miller Clinton Copy Share Image
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. — Dennis Miller Bad girl Copy Share Image
The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is… — Dennis Miller Claims Copy Share Image
Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island. — Dennis Miller 4th of july Copy Share Image
How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides? — Dennis Miller Animal Copy Share Image
The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood. — Dennis Miller American Copy Share Image
Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal… — Dennis Miller Adequate Copy Share Image
It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the… — Dennis Miller Film Copy Share Image