Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they… — Dennis Miller Fence Copy Share Image
And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the… — Dennis Miller Ads Copy Share Image
President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to… — Dennis Miller People Copy Share Image
There's no more delicious irony on the face of the Earth than environmental protesters being led away in plastic handcuffs that have… — Dennis Miller Delicious Copy Share Image
The very definition of the innate hollowness of leading a political life when you end up on your nearest and dearest moments… — Dennis Miller Definitions Copy Share Image
And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah,… — Dennis Miller Baby Copy Share Image
Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field. — Dennis Miller Feminism Copy Share Image
A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious.… — Dennis Miller Far away Copy Share Image
Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention. — Dennis Miller Attention Copy Share Image
The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb… — Dennis Miller Doughnut Copy Share Image
I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you… — Dennis Miller Bash Copy Share Image
I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man,… — Dennis Miller Care Copy Share Image
And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this… — Dennis Miller Beverages Copy Share Image
I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love. — Dennis Miller Celine Copy Share Image
I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun. — Dennis Miller Battle Copy Share Image
Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it. — Dennis Miller Courses Copy Share Image
If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again. — Dennis Miller Aerobics Copy Share Image
Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam "We're #1" finger. — Dennis Miller Auto mechanic Copy Share Image
That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for… — Dennis Miller Arms Copy Share Image
South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their… — Dennis Miller Clothes Copy Share Image
Seems to me we move the furniture, the French come in later and put the doilies on top of it...It's a simple… — Dennis Miller Dirty Copy Share Image
The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto. — Dennis Miller Auto industry Copy Share Image
I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and… — Dennis Miller Captains Copy Share Image
The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick… — Dennis Miller Crew Copy Share Image
