Funny Quotes · Page 93

WIFE, A lady with a whim of iron;

— Nikhil Saluja

If I were younger, I'd know more.

— James M. Barrie

My mistakes always learn from me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Man created God in his own image.

— Ludwig Feuerbach

I think war is a dangerous place.

— George W. Bush

Those Cute Texts You Get Ramdomly

— Anonymous

Trust in time rather than timing,

— Burton Malkiel

The most important thing is work.

— Lou Reed

If cinderela shoe fit perfectly then why did if fell off?

— Anonymous

“When the going gets tough, the tough gets napalm. -Nick”

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

I say you shall yet find the friend you were looking for.

— Walt Whitman

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

— Anonymous

We bought it, we own it, and we're going to take it back.

— Eli Pariser

Making a product better often requires removing features.

— Marco Arment

There are openings in our lives of which we know nothing.

— Jane Hirshfield

Poles did not like Jews and they were worse than Germans.

— Menachem Begin

The panda is a funny, lovable animal, which defends its territory well. It's strong but calm. It suits me perfectly.

— Metta World Peace

I think that 'Saving Grace' is pretty funny. I think that the show and the woman have a pretty great sense of…

— Holly Hunter

My 'Dunkirk' co-star Harry Styles deals with some crazy fan stuff, but he's a very down-to-earth, lovely, funny guy.

— Fionn Whitehead

Dentist: *Pokes gums with sharp pointy instrument of death* Dentist: Your gums are bleeding because you don't floss.

— Ritu Ghatourey

Ive always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you cant judge a book by its cover but who wants to have…

— Green Monk

It's funny, when guests come over to the house, they want to see my gold medal first and my U.S. Open trophy…

— Justin Rose

Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to…

— Voltaire

Sending a recording of my voice is the hardest thing I've ever done!! Haha! Three tries down, a bazillion to go.. xD

— Rachel

Dear boyfriend, You don't EXiST !

— Anonymous

What cannot be said will be wept.

— Sappho

I never hugged him, I bombed him.

— Margaret Thatcher

Virtue that wavers is not virtue.

— John Milton

Life's not fair. It's only short.

— Hank Phillippi Ryan

... even the devil works for God.

— Judy Collins

Why do you get up in the morning?

— Anonymous

The best surprise is no surprise.

— Kemmons Wilson

Your garden will reveal yourself.

— Henry Mitchell

Dear 338171 (May I call you 338?)

— Noel Coward

Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?

— Mitch Hedberg

Utopia is not one of the options.

— David Bergland

Ive got Arabic music in my blood.

— Stewart Copeland

My favorite coffee flavor is HOT.

— Green Monk

Stern is the visage of necessity.

— Friedrich Schiller

Ignorance, madam, pure ignorance.

— Samuel Johnson