I want to grow old without facelifts... I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I've made. Sometimes… — Marilyn Monroe Copy Share Image
“Marg muttered something under her breath. It was either “Who does he think he is?” or “I hope he has no kids.”… — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
Even in name, he seems like a Victorian oddity. "Igor, fetch 'the Crouch' from the catacombs, we're going to the graveyard". — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
“How'd you get to be so good at this?" "I had a good teacher." "Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
I have been called Taylor Lautner a few time which I'm quite happy about. You only have to look at us to… — Robert Pattinson Copy Share Image
“Fine, I'll touch you, briefly, but only because you sound like you need the praise that your body's hot, and I'm totally… — Kyle Adams Copy Share Image
I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life. It's not very funny, but it's sincere. My commitment is to sincerity. — Tahar Ben Jelloun Copy Share Image
There was something really fun about when I used to do bus tours. I was on mic all day, trying to be… — Tim Dillon Copy Share Image
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Being extremely honest is quite funny. But there's no recipe or concept that I can bring up that fully defines what we… — Yorgos Lanthimos Copy Share Image
Today I sent out a text saying, Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it? 12 people called me...I need smarter… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car. Throw you off a bridge so high, Hope you break… — Katelyn Lillis Copy Share Image
God has a sense of humor though and he must see funny things in us. He must also have some love. We're… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The European drivers have adapted to this circuit extremely quickly, especially Paul Radisich who's a New Zealander. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
“Hey, check this weirdo out." Hi was inspecting a bust on the mantel. "This face is ninety percent eyebrow. What do you… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I… — Kesha Copy Share Image
“Dear Mom, I won't be home this weekend because I'm wanted for treason and I have to clear my name. Also, I… — Mac Barnett Copy Share Image
Our friendship is so beautiful .. You laugh, I will laugh .. You cry, I'm crying .. You fall from the tree,… — Ali Bassam Copy Share Image
You can't even go to Heaven if you get killed by Spinach, you can't even go. You don't even know what to… — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
I think the reason why babies sleep so much is because it's God's way of letting us make it up early for… — Laura S Copy Share Image
“This is nice,' Melody said, picking up a red leather box with a vintage watch inside. 'Yes, it is nice. It's the… — Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney, The Nest Copy Share Image
“Why would Dad call you? I mean, you have to admit that he would have been better off calling the local prison… — Krista Alasti Copy Share Image
AAJ KA VICHAR- If u love truly.. U will die daily. but If u flirt nicely. U will enjoy daily! Issliye... singles… — Aakash Pattanayak Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone who deserves a much better Mother's Day than I'm capable of pulling off without her help. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's impossible not to be aware of the Ryan Murphy empire, but he is so kind and funny, and you feel in… — Lucy Boynton Copy Share Image
“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
What is your worst sin? My vanity. I spend hours before the mirror admiring my beauty. That isn't vanity, dear, that's imagination. — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
“Orlando had a Pinto, a car that hadn't been in existence for thirty-plus years. He still hadn't figured out why a strong,… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
“Quiet,” she hissed at me, her voice shockingly aggressive for such a small person. “Otherwise, I’ll shut you up myself.” — Adele Rose Copy Share Image
Business, like life, is funny. We all go through difficult times, and we all have to face curve balls and challenges, each… — Ronnie Apteker Copy Share Image
I like to call in sick to work at places where Ive never held a job. Then when the manager tells me… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
All comedy is funny because it tells us truths that we recognise through laughter, but that doesn't mean it can't be unnerving.… — David Farr Copy Share Image
Yes, I've been down the pike and back. And through the years, I've heard different songs with scatting in it, and it… — J. J. Cale Copy Share Image
Dogs are great assets to candidates, and the feeling seems to be engendered that if a dog loves the candidate, he can't… — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. I don't agree with that,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“I had an uneventful few days," it told her. "The most exciting thing was an hour-long lecture from the headmaster on taking… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
My mirror & my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like. Hearing something that absolutely kills you inside… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
