Facebook Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 19

If a guy says he's not in mood to talk with a girl. He probably have masturbated few seconds ago.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned to say Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke in 6 languages.

— Nikhil Saluja

Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn?

— Nikhil Saluja

I think the most impressive thing about the activity tab on twitter is that I never use it.

— Nikhil Saluja

God made woman and the other day he made beer because he was like holy fuck, sorry bro.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman can take unpredictable to a whole new level of psycho if you test them...

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

— Nikhil Saluja

Assumptions are those things we make when we are too lazy to check out the facts.

— Nikhil Saluja

Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

— Nikhil Saluja

Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;)

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from!

— Nikhil Saluja

It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished;

— Nikhil Saluja

The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple…

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern .

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, A lady who is much like an angler -- each think the best one got away;

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not a mind reader, your unspoken words doesn't tell me anything at all.

— Nikhil Saluja

Expectoration: If you go to a political rally, you should EXPECTORATION.

— Nikhil Saluja

Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down.

— Nikhil Saluja

Prefix: What a man does just before his wife calls the plumber. Or electrician, mechanic ...

— Nikhil Saluja

Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they…

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife nearly crashed the car today. Thankfully I remembered to hide the keys.

— Nikhil Saluja

When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a Lizard. Just so I can finally hear a women say Oh…

— Nikhil Saluja

If I was a serial killer I'd use my knife to make strangers kiss in front of me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I just wish I could disappear for a while to a place where nothing can go wrong in life.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are free... when you are in control of yours lf and do not wish to control others.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging.

— Nikhil Saluja

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred;

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness;

— Nikhil Saluja

You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions.

— Nikhil Saluja

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

— Nikhil Saluja

It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know.

— Nikhil Saluja

Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes.

— Nikhil Saluja

History may repeat itself, But Herstory won't ever shut the fuck up about it.

— Nikhil Saluja