Facebook Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 17

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, In Japanese is called Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of Yes, dear;

— Nikhil Saluja

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was…

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

— Nikhil Saluja

To the world you may be someone, but to someone you may be the world.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, What a man blames things on when he can't figure a way to blame the government;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which a woman gives the best years of her life to the man that made them so;

— Nikhil Saluja

Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

— Nikhil Saluja

Looking at all the chances I was too afraid to take and the people I was too scared to admit my feelings…

— Nikhil Saluja

The blonde cowboy put glue on his six-shooters so he would always stick to his guns.

— Nikhil Saluja

Let him open your mind before he opens your Legs. The bond usually lasts longer.

— Nikhil Saluja

Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

— Nikhil Saluja

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends Over And over again that you love them.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE LETTERS, correspondence that should always bear the salutation: My Dearest, and Gentlemen of the Jury;

— Nikhil Saluja

My girlfriend said, I hate it when you finish my sentences. So I said, Period.

— Nikhil Saluja

I look at her boobs, and she looks at my dick, and that's when I realize the best things in life are…

— Nikhil Saluja

Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

— Nikhil Saluja

WOMAN, LIBERATED, a female who has sex before marriage and a job after.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, color to enhance your beauty. On his collar, color only a tramp would wear!

— Nikhil Saluja

If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ' Asking for a Friend

— Nikhil Saluja

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

— Nikhil Saluja

In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIED LIFE, is like the pleasure experienced when getting into a warm bath -- after a while it's not so hot

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter: Where people bitch for everyone's attention and validation from strangers.

— Nikhil Saluja

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.

— Nikhil Saluja

For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide!

— Nikhil Saluja

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I scream, you scream, both of us scream because we are being murdered while eating ice cream.

— Nikhil Saluja

Wedding dresses are white so the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge.

— Nikhil Saluja

A woman can say more in a retweet, than a man can say in a tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ofcourse gay men dress well... They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing

— Nikhil Saluja

Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone.

— Nikhil Saluja

If the loser smiles after losing the game, the winner loses the thrill of his victory!! That's the power of Smile !!

— Nikhil Saluja

Snoring is your body's way of telling everyone not to disturb me asshole can't you see we are sleeping.

— Nikhil Saluja

Women love sex in the dark because they can't stand to see a man have a good time.

— Nikhil Saluja

The hardest thing about losing your short term memory is… 'Happy Birthday' Yes it's someone's Happy Birthday isn't o_O

— Nikhil Saluja

Everything is forgivable if you leave after a one night stand, as long as you were good in bed.

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel like today is going to be a good day but I am bringing my shotgun just in case.

— Nikhil Saluja

A ghost could be humping you right now and you would never know.

— Nikhil Saluja