Facebook Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 18

MARRIAGE, An investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest.

— Nikhil Saluja

Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just need a search engine that'll remember exactly what I was about to Google when I forget.

— Nikhil Saluja

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

— Nikhil Saluja

I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we dont talk, he works out alone, and I go home.

— Nikhil Saluja

BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER!

— Nikhil Saluja

You are generous... when you can take as sweetly as you can give.

— Nikhil Saluja

I would never mind being in an odd abusive relationship, if my girlfriend would punch me with her tits.

— Nikhil Saluja

Astronaut restaurant review from the moon: The food is fine but there's not much atmosphere.

— Nikhil Saluja

John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.

— Nikhil Saluja

If her husband walks in while you're fucking her... ask him to join. You're already fucked anyways...

— Nikhil Saluja

If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple.

— Nikhil Saluja

Mostly all famous inventions start off as an accidents. For instance, my invention of running over cats.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you never try, then you'll never know just what you're worth.

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl gets in the mood quickly. The woman is always in the mood.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the…

— Nikhil Saluja

TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are thoughtful... when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are.

— Nikhil Saluja

If the loser keeps his smile, the winner will loose the thrill of victory.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown?

— Nikhil Saluja

Instead of raising awareness for bullying, how about parents just stop raising assholes?

— Nikhil Saluja

They say you can never win from a woman in an arguement, I say you can never win from a woman in…

— Nikhil Saluja

Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.

— Nikhil Saluja

Earlier I used to feel like a guy trapped inside a woman's body. Especially during the first nine months.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose.

— Nikhil Saluja

If my tweets offend you: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It won't happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You're a pussy.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, That delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock {John Barrymore};

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can.

— Nikhil Saluja

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

— Nikhil Saluja

This Is The Beginning Of A New Day! You Have Been Given This Day To Use As You Will!

— Nikhil Saluja

I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Leo and she's a…

— Nikhil Saluja

I named my first born child after my mother-in-law. In fact, lazy fat ass bitch turns 5 tomorrow.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when either party is good at taking orders

— Nikhil Saluja

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

— Nikhil Saluja

My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can't think.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are growing... when you know what you are but not what you will become.

— Nikhil Saluja

I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life.

— Nikhil Saluja

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

— Nikhil Saluja