Facebook Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 20

Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall … And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch ……

— Nikhil Saluja

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, A great comfort during her husband's troubles -- those, that as a bachelor, he would never have had;

— Nikhil Saluja

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing

— Nikhil Saluja

She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've never killed an unfollower but I should definitely take a shot at it.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a girl says have fun She means have a horrible time without me. Not true... Maybe!

— Nikhil Saluja

You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher.

— Nikhil Saluja

Joan Rivers turned into one of the people she used to make fun of.

— Nikhil Saluja

In my version of volleyball I use my legs and also don't play volleyball.

— Nikhil Saluja

My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you try to be different, you are being like everyone else. Being yourself is what makes you different.

— Nikhil Saluja

The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together.

— Nikhil Saluja

I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look…

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring.

— Nikhil Saluja

You can't spell love without I want to jump off a fucking bridge.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be…

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't have a great sense of humor, but I do have a great sense of nonsense.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes, the only thing left to do is to let go even if it's the hardest thing to do.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're not following me yet, hopefully reading this tweet will convince you.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're ever feeling down, just remember that I'll always be there to feel you up.

— Nikhil Saluja

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!

— Nikhil Saluja

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't always tweet when I'm drunk, but when I do, it's when I'm visiting my family.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE LICENSE, is the only permit taken out after the hunt is over

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the INTERIOR DECORATOR says, Once it's in, you'll love it

— Nikhil Saluja

It doesn't bother me that you don't like me, what bothers me is that you are hypocritical and PRETEND to like me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm pretty sure my grandmom watches over me whenever I masturbate. The sound of that walker is so unbearable.

— Nikhil Saluja

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

— Nikhil Saluja

I know a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

— Nikhil Saluja

Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections.

— Nikhil Saluja

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

— Nikhil Saluja

Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE is like the action similar to an hourglass: the heart fills as the brain empties.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook? You mean that thing pussies use to bitch about their problems?

— Nikhil Saluja