Facebook Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 21

HUSBAND, A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness;

— Nikhil Saluja

You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions.

— Nikhil Saluja

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

— Nikhil Saluja

It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging.

— Nikhil Saluja

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I was a serial killer I'd use my knife to make strangers kiss in front of me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I just wish I could disappear for a while to a place where nothing can go wrong in life.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are free... when you are in control of yours lf and do not wish to control others.

— Nikhil Saluja

Prefix: What a man does just before his wife calls the plumber. Or electrician, mechanic ...

— Nikhil Saluja

Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they…

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife nearly crashed the car today. Thankfully I remembered to hide the keys.

— Nikhil Saluja

When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a Lizard. Just so I can finally hear a women say Oh…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not a mind reader, your unspoken words doesn't tell me anything at all.

— Nikhil Saluja

Expectoration: If you go to a political rally, you should EXPECTORATION.

— Nikhil Saluja

Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished;

— Nikhil Saluja

The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple…

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern .

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, A lady who is much like an angler -- each think the best one got away;

— Nikhil Saluja

Assumptions are those things we make when we are too lazy to check out the facts.

— Nikhil Saluja

Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

— Nikhil Saluja

Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;)

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from!

— Nikhil Saluja

It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE is like the action similar to an hourglass: the heart fills as the brain empties.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook? You mean that thing pussies use to bitch about their problems?

— Nikhil Saluja

I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there.

— Nikhil Saluja

When I said You look terrific. I really meant Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving.

— Nikhil Saluja

Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both.

— Nikhil Saluja

It doesn't bother me that you don't like me, what bothers me is that you are hypocritical and PRETEND to like me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm pretty sure my grandmom watches over me whenever I masturbate. The sound of that walker is so unbearable.

— Nikhil Saluja

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

— Nikhil Saluja

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

— Nikhil Saluja

Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections.

— Nikhil Saluja

I know a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

— Nikhil Saluja

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!

— Nikhil Saluja