“I couldn’t steal an idea. Not even if my clone came up with it. But I could steal your heart—even if my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Aside from myself, there aren’t too many people trying to be me. That may change in the future, when all my clones… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I asked myself a question, but I wouldn’t answer, because it was too personal. I wish I had a clone, so he… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t know the man standing next to me in the mirror. He looks like me, so is he my clone? He… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I had my clone take a test for me, it’s likely I’d misspell my own name. And I’m terrible at remembering… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to drown in all the ink used to write positive things about my clone and how great he is.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A meme, what is it? Is it a doubly selfish cultural reference that’s all about me and me (my clone)?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My hero’s hero is not necessarily my hero, unless my clone’s hero is my clone’s clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do I look like someone you know? Well you don’t know me, so why don’t you go bother my clone? And if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Shakespeare asked what’s in a name. Well, each of my clones won’t be named the same as me, but they’ll be me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s a real pleasure accepting an award—for someone else. Especially if they are my clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I’m having a conversation with my clone, am I having an interior dialogue externally?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s still masturbation if your clone gives you a hand job. It’s also a lot like being a member of Congress.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“As a person, I have to claim my persona as my own. If I don’t, my clone will do it for me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Of course my clone will be handsome. He’ll look exactly like my other clone, won’t he?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you had a clone, I wouldn’t care which one of you two I dated. It’d be the same thing to me,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Can you ever really say you know anybody—your clone included? Still, if my clone’s birthday were coming up, I’d only shop Buy… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My name is Sam (my name is Am), and I am my own fan. I’m a clone of Jarod Kintz, and he… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a murderer. I killed the conversation. She said she loved me, and I said, “If you love me, wait until you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I give you an historical reference, am I dating myself? No, because the only way I could date myself is if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Knowing where you come from is just as important as knowing who you aren’t. You aren’t your own clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m going to spend a lifetime being me, so I’d better like who I am as a person. My clone better like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Writing all day every day is good, but it’s not good enough. You need to have your clone ghostwriting for you too.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My new book is going well. It’s practically writing itself! Actually, what I mean is I’m not writing it, my clone is.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to win an award that doesn’t exist yet. Well, I want my clone to win it, and that’s almost the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The first man to successfully clone himself deserves to pat himself on the back. And then give himself a back massage.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you ask me to describe what I look like, I’ll simply say, “I look like my clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Who inspires me to write? My clone. I just want him to appreciate me as a person.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If my clone weren’t dead, or rather not in nonexistence, he would have probably killed me by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A clone would make a great birthday gift, because it’s the only gift that keeps on giving. At least it’d better give… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I tattooed my name on my buttocks, so you’d know what an ass I am. Also so either me or my clone… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He won’t be as funny as a mountain—he’ll be hill-arious. He is my clone, and I hope he kills me for this… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To take another person’s life for personal gain is the most selfish act imaginable. Especially when that other person is your clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“No, lady, you didn’t have sex with me, you had sex with my clone. I’m sorry, but I don’t know you.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d rather be me being me than me trying to be my own clone. I try to stay true to who I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
