Quote by Jarod Kintz

“It’s not really masturbating if you’re jacking your clone off. It’s more like politics.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I had a hand in getting my clone employment. I gave him a handjob.”

— Jarod Kintz

“The first man to successfully clone himself deserves to pat himself on the back. And then give himself a back massage.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I bowl like I masturbate: with two hands. I should run for Congress.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Feel free to become a slave to your own clone. And mine. Remember, you can never have too many lovers who look exactly the…

— Jarod Kintz

“I am who I pretend to be, and right now I’m pretending to be my own clone.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A lifestyle of deception is hard to keep up if your clones aren’t willing to participate.”

— Jarod Kintz

“More than anything, I just want to be somebody. Somebody like my own clone.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I’ll make a name for myself, after I make a copy of myself. The key to a productive life is cloning.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Who’d cum first, you or your clone? To find out, why don’t you go fuck yourself?”

— Jarod Kintz

“When I need to be in two places at once, make two decisions at once, that’s what clones are for.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m a handyman. I work with my hand. I masturbate for a living. That’s right, I’m in politics.”

— Jarod Kintz