If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If it turns out that the Mayans are right and the world is going to end, you know what this means? Lindsay… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to keep in mind next… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Folks, we're starting to learn more and more about that man arrested in the New York SUV car bombing case. His name… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I was born the day I got my license. When I was a kid, if I wanted to go somewhere and see… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When you work with your hands, you learn to appreciate how easy it is to earn money talking. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I like cars that are ahead of their times, and that were noble failures because they were built to a higher standard… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you're a car salesman, and someone says "This is a terrible car, I'm not buying it," it doesn't mean they hate… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Nissan is designing a car that will read the driver's mind. I already know what I'm going to do. I want a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
But the good news, the crime rate is down. Isn't that amazing? Less banks are being robbed. Well, sure. A, there's less… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The car was the iPhone of the 20th century. Kids these days don't have to drive anymore. They just go there virtually. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jesse Jackson was involved in a three-car crash this weekend. I understand that no one was hurt, but I understand that two… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Whitney Houston rear-ended a city bus with her sports car, but no one was hurt. She said she didn't know what happened.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Show business is like Champagne. You'll appreciate it more if you don't drink it everyday — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When you fix something with your hands it gives you a sense of accomplishment and a sense of self worth. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If there isn't a parking space out front or I can't see my car from the window, we're eating somewhere else. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We should make politicians dress like race car drivers -- when they get money, make them wear the company logos on their… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image