I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
