If I had my life to live over again, I would have waxed less and listened more. ... I would have cried… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My mother phones daily to ask, "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no, she adds, "So, if you're… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
