We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Most mothers entering the labor market outside the home are naive. They stagger home each evening, holding mail in their teeth, the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It is upsetting to many parents that their teen-agers introduce them to their friends as encyclopedia salesmen who are just passing through… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing… Thinking back on it all, it must have been the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“When God Created Mothers" When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls not knowing about money… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My mother phones daily to ask, "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no, she adds, "So, if you're… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“I’ve always admired parents who discipline their children in hushed whispers: “Arthur, you are a naughty boy for turning on all the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
![“I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay…” quote by Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/cff/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalent_i-m-real-ambivalent-about-working-mother_1082454.jpg)
