Men Quotes by Erma Bombeck

12 Men quotes by Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck’s humor thrives in the kitchen and living room, and her take on men is no exception. This brief collection captures her knack for turning everyday quirks into relatable, chuckle‑worthy moments.

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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.

Erma Bombeck

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I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.

Erma Bombeck

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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

Erma Bombeck

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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Erma Bombeck

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I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.

Erma Bombeck

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Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.

Erma Bombeck

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I think it's time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don't have room to carry their own…

Erma Bombeck

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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a…

Erma Bombeck

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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an…

Erma Bombeck

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I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to…

Erma Bombeck

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I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars,…

Erma Bombeck

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Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten…

Erma Bombeck

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More by Erma Bombeck

Cats invented self-esteem.

Erma Bombeck

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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

Erma Bombeck

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The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar.

Erma Bombeck

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The term 'working mother' is redundant.

Erma Bombeck

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To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at…

Erma Bombeck

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I used everything you gave me.

Erma Bombeck

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Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

Erma Bombeck

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The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.

Erma Bombeck

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God created man, but I could do better.

Erma Bombeck

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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?

Erma Bombeck

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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

Erma Bombeck

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Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.…

Erma Bombeck

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I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.

Erma Bombeck

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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent…

Erma Bombeck

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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.

Erma Bombeck

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