Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I think it's time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don't have room to carry their own… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
