Two Quotes by Erma Bombeck

Cats invented self-esteem.

— Erma Bombeck

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

— Erma Bombeck

The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar.

— Erma Bombeck

The term 'working mother' is redundant.

— Erma Bombeck

To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at…

— Erma Bombeck

I used everything you gave me.

— Erma Bombeck

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

— Erma Bombeck

The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.

— Erma Bombeck

God created man, but I could do better.

— Erma Bombeck

If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?

— Erma Bombeck

Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

— Erma Bombeck

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.…

— Erma Bombeck

I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.

— Erma Bombeck

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent…

— Erma Bombeck

Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.

— Erma Bombeck