It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Most mothers entering the labor market outside the home are naive. They stagger home each evening, holding mail in their teeth, the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I am always behind the shopper at the grocery store who has stitched her coupons in the lining of her coat and… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
