There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
...I remember thinking how often we look, but never see...we listen, but never hear...we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it...and never give it back.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
If I had my life to live over again, I would have waxed less and listened more. ... I would have cried… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.'… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
