Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids.” — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“After twenty-two years of marriage, we had outgrown the challenge of making something out of nothing. The nesting instincts just weren't there… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
