Giving Quotes by Erma Bombeck

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

— Erma Bombeck

I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.

— Erma Bombeck

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see…

— Erma Bombeck

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

— Erma Bombeck

What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

— Erma Bombeck

Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a…

— Erma Bombeck

My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving…

— Erma Bombeck

Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except…

— Erma Bombeck

I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from,…

— Erma Bombeck

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the…

— Erma Bombeck

I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an…

— Erma Bombeck

If I had my life to live over again, I would have waxed less and listened more. ... I would have cried…

— Erma Bombeck

I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping…

— Erma Bombeck

Given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it...and never give it back.…

— Erma Bombeck