A man walked into a shop and asked, "How much are your eggs?" He said "£1.40 a dozen". He then asked: "How… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“He quite liked dentists’ waiting rooms. Waiting for dentists was good. Waiting for them was so much better than having them stick… — Jackson Radcliffe Copy Share Image
“Nanahara: Where are you going, Boss? Yashiro: To the convenience store. Whenever I buy all the condoms they have in stock and… — Kou Yoneda Copy Share Image
“I can't think I had much of a sense of humor as long as I remained the only child. When my brother… — Eudora Welty Copy Share Image
It has sustained me in moments of success and in moments of disappointment. Without it, I'd be a different person. And without… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Nobody wants a house in Osaka,' he said, and it was strange to hear him switch suddenly to foreign pronunciation in the… — Natasha Pulley Copy Share Image
Lily Tomlin said something years ago, and I'm paraphrasing, that you have to find humor in everything, because by finding humor, you… — Morgan Spurlock Copy Share Image
“He well knew the futility of trying to contend against witches, so he gave up discouraged. But it occurred to him that… — Samuel Clemmons Copy Share Image
Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it… — Billiam Coronel Copy Share Image
The hugely popular Windows 95 operating system revolutionized the software world thanks to its capability of accomplishing the seemingly impossible task of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Merely watching a romantic comedy causes relationship satisfaction to plummet. Apparently, the bitter realization that maybe it could happen to us, but… — Jenna McCarthy Copy Share Image
“Clearly, I'm a genius at picking boyfriends. In my defense, have you seen what there is to choose from? The sea is… — Nicole Christie Copy Share Image
“A humour of reading books, except those of devotion or housewifery, is apt to turn a woman's brain... All affectation of knowledge… — Jonathan Swift Copy Share Image
“How many Lojbanists does it take to change a broken light-bulb?” goes the old Lojban joke. “Two: one to decide what to… — Arika Okrent Copy Share Image
It takes something to get married: nerve, hope, a strong desire to make a certain statement - and it takes something to… — Amy Bloom Copy Share Image
My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought… — Robert Collier Copy Share Image
“ESPE: So, in both conversations, Lama Sangyay steers you away from thinking directly about Epifanio or your relationship (or lack thereof) and… — Sally Ember Ed.D Copy Share Image
Martin Luther King was a human being with a brilliant mind, a powerful heart, and insight, and courage and also with a… — Maya Angelou Copy Share Image
After 9/11, I changed a lot of the ways I viewed the world. I realized my comedy and my politics and my… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
“One bad thing can often be rectified or overlooked, but several of them can sometimes coalesce into a compound disaster that sprouts… — Eleanor Druse Copy Share Image
“The aspiration when reading is to understand ‘what is there’. But ‘what is there’ is known on the basis of our existing… — Joshua D. Broggi Copy Share Image
Every love story is about boy meeting girl and has the same action, comedy, dance etc - a little bit of everything.… — Regina Cassandra Copy Share Image
“With some justice, I think, I could claim that it is all right as a beginning to leave a principle in a… — Robert Nozick Copy Share Image
The great thing about 'Weeds' is that everything we do is never quite serious enough to be taken seriously. It always has… — Alexander Gould Copy Share Image
“The pillow whistled across the room and smacked him in the face. Nicolas smiled, satisfied. If he was going to die, this… — Sarah M. Cradit Copy Share Image
Also, my humor is really dry-witted, Canadian humor, so some people get it and some people don't. I'd be great on "The… — Tinsel Korey Copy Share Image
“Jeffrey to Felicia - Given your peculiar fashions over the past four years, I'm afraid you've caused people to believe you're a… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
“She stared into his eyes and announced, “A good-bye kiss.” It was at that Raid stopped dead. “What?” “Raiden, the gig is… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
The beautiful thing about podcasting is it's just talking. It can be funny, or it can be terrifying. It can be sweet.… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
“Lies--and again lies--it amazes me, the amount of lies we had told to us this morning." "There are more still to discover,"… — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
Since I started making movies, I've had to hear a million times, "When are you going to do a comedy?" I think… — Isabel Coixet Copy Share Image
The hardest thing to get is true emotion. I always believe you need to earn that with the audience. You can't just… — John Lasseter Copy Share Image
“Got it. You're fourteen. I'm proud you can count that high. It's a testament to the modern American education system. But I… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Invincible Copy Share Image
“Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive." SMASH! "Good. Yes. Tyson… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“As a young father it's important to remember that, when you're at the beach, there's a BIG difference between telling your five… — Spuds Crawford Copy Share Image
I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process. People lose their minds,… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Anyone should be able to say on stage what they want. But those who have knowledge, do understand that certain things on… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“Just as I was flung over the threshold, I embraced Grigoire the Swiss Fiancé in a rugger grip, determined that smug cockatoo… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
The whole point of real comedy is that you can say something that is true, and by being funny, you can make… — Dave Rubin Copy Share Image
