“Everyone, no matter what kind of job he or she has, fantasizes about freaking out at work. How many corporate drones, stuck… — Steve Dublanica Copy Share Image
My TV comedy idols are the Charles brothers, who did 'Cheers;' Larry Gelbart, who did 'MASH;' and Larry David, who did 'Seinfeld.'… — Dan Schneider Copy Share Image
“To begin perfect happiness at the respective ages of twenty-six and eighteen, is to do pretty well; and professing myself moreover convinced,… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
“Sorry, sorry, don’t mind me, coming through, oh why hello there—” This to a particularly handsome Kai look-alike droid, which had no… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
“Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didn’t come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
There's no reason to be doing comedy during the day in a hot tent. I don't know why anyone thinks it's a… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
“The professor pointed out how he could drop a keel and a propeller into the water, in case he came down at… — Bertrand R. Brinley Copy Share Image
“What a nice neat deep trench,' I said. 'Er - should Nefret be down in it?' 'She thought she saw a skull,'… — Elizabeth Peters Copy Share Image
I think probably the qualities that I look for in a man are somewhat different than they were before I became a… — Monica Lewinsky Copy Share Image
“And then to Leo’s surprise, Catherine smiled at him. A sweet, natural, brilliant smile, the first she had ever given him. Leo… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
You tell me you love me, but Im not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Although there have been witty big menOscar Wilde comes first to mindwit and humor seem more in the province of the smaller… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Says O'Sullivan to me, "Mr. Fay, I'll have a word wid yeh?" "Certainly," says I; "what can I do for you?" "Sell… — Jack London Copy Share Image
“You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled. "Really?"… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“These days, all I ask of Fate is that the people she hurls into my life, whether they are evil or good,… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
“For some the journey of highschool was probably pleasent or easy like swimming down a stream or walking down the street, but… — Elizabeth Rolph Copy Share Image
I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“Vanity might be a "sin" according to some lights, but he thought in measured doses it was one of life's allowable simple… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“..."There’s really no way I can explain it to her without *still* sounding like scum," I complained to Sinter. "The 'sympathy shack-up'… — Molly Ringle Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“Alice opened the door when I rang. She had on green pyjamas and held a hairbrush in one hand. She looked wearily… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
“It's so quiet and peaceful out here I'm getting bored with breathing. Maybe we'll get lucky and the world will go to… — Richard Kadrey Copy Share Image
If you are watching my films and wondering, am I missing humorous speak because I'm not Korean? Am I missing out? You… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
A lot of times in comedy, and also in podcasting and television, there are different kinds of voices that can be celebrated.… — Phoebe Robinson Copy Share Image
“Take any two-year-old through a car wash and their skulls are blown. FLAPS! FOAM! ROLLING THINGS! It's the closest they'll ever get… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a… — Dora J. Arod Copy Share Image
“If this had been a public-school locker room, there would have been some gray jumbo-sized garbage cans nearby, and I probably could've… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“The Super Constellations took three days to reach London [from Australia] and lacked the power or range to dodge most storms. When… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
Seriousness is the refuge of the shallow. There are events and personal experiences that call forth seriousness but they are fewer than… — Rita Mae Brown Copy Share Image
“ Résumé Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn".… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Nobody think about that broken heart... life goes on, broken heart never join together but it tries very hard to get joined… — Shahid Islam Copy Share Image
My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree… — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
“Here.” He spread his legs wider and patted the floor between them. “You’ll be warmer, and I promise I won’t grope you… — Meg Maguire Copy Share Image
We've progressed well beyond the four humors in the two thousand-odd years since Hippocrates, but we still haven't satisfied the urge to… — Maria Konnikova Copy Share Image
I'm going to keep doing the comedy and the art that I do. I'm going to keep uplifting marginalized voices, and I… — Phoebe Robinson Copy Share Image
“Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I was really putting a lot of pressure on this beer prop; it was going to distract me enough so that I… — Jessica Fortunato Copy Share Image
“As rain began to fall, Aldric worried the old machines would not be able to survive the weather. "Hand me that oil… — Jason Hightman Copy Share Image
![“The Super Constellations took three days to reach London [from Australia] and lacked the power or range to dodge most storms. When monsoons or cyclones were encountered, the pilots had no choice but to put on the seat belt signs and bounce through them. Even in normal conditions they flew at a…” quote by Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/854/bill-bryson-340_flew_the-super-constellations-took-three-days_2266718.jpg)
