Janeane Garofalo

All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?

— Janeane Garofalo

Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

— Janeane Garofalo

Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.

— Janeane Garofalo

The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl.

— Janeane Garofalo

To love is to risk not to be loved in return

— Janeane Garofalo

I'm a sucker for any guy with an accent with any kind.

— Janeane Garofalo

I did not support Operation Desert Fox.

— Janeane Garofalo

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things.

— Janeane Garofalo

The handful of corporations that own most of the media outlets have an interest in reflecting establishment views.

— Janeane Garofalo

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.

— Janeane Garofalo

There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America.

— Janeane Garofalo

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

— Janeane Garofalo

I love a nice cooking show. It's as aesthetically pleasing as any other thing that tempts the senses, I suppose.

— Janeane Garofalo

I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.

— Janeane Garofalo

You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.

— Janeane Garofalo

I don't enjoy sparring with the audience. It devastates me.

— Janeane Garofalo

I'm almost 46. You become no longer even regarded in a sexual way. As you get older you're just taken out of…

— Janeane Garofalo

I remember the old Times Square from when I was younger, and there was a seedy thrill to it. Some of that…

— Janeane Garofalo

To a right-winger, unions are awful. Why do right-wingers hate unions? Because collective bargaining is the power that a worker has against…

— Janeane Garofalo

I wound up getting a lot of other opportunities in the nineties, and then sort of as quickly as it started, it…

— Janeane Garofalo

Until as women we all say, No! We are not going to starve ourselves, nothing is going to change. We're our own…

— Janeane Garofalo

He [God] just seems so man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature…

— Janeane Garofalo

I don't know that I would need to be famous as a Middle East policy expert to see that unilateral imperialism is…

— Janeane Garofalo

“Leaving your ears open to the suggestions of others only closes the mind's eye, thereby creating a type of spiritual glaucoma.”

— Janeane Garofalo

You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It's a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to…

— Janeane Garofalo

Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea…

— Janeane Garofalo

I would say that, unfortunately, the word liberal has been redefined over the last 30 years as if it is a bad…

— Janeane Garofalo

I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in…

— Janeane Garofalo

There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over.…

— Janeane Garofalo

I think the parts I was offered when I was younger, where I was asked to play that kind of slacker person,…

— Janeane Garofalo

But let me ask you this though, first and foremost: who's your favorite Spice Girl? Mine is Sporty Spice and I'll tell…

— Janeane Garofalo

So, apparently, if you are a pre-sentient mass of cells, this country will protect you and your rights to the n-th degree.…

— Janeane Garofalo

When Pat Buchanan came out against the Beijing Women's Conference and there were women standing next to him, smiling and laughing when…

— Janeane Garofalo

I don't know why in this country we coddle corporate criminals, war criminals, and racists. People walk on eggshells around them, and…

— Janeane Garofalo

I was a 36C or D, and at 5' 1'', I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in…

— Janeane Garofalo

This world is bullshit. And just because I appear in music video wherein I am in my underwear, and make young women…

— Janeane Garofalo

Because we don't have a Fairness Doctrine, and because we have further media consolidation, and because we have a craptastic corporate media,…

— Janeane Garofalo

If the audience is responding very well to comedians that are hacks, and I don't do well, I don't feel as bad,…

— Janeane Garofalo

Many people feel that mass acceptance and smooth socialization are desirable life paths for a young adult… Many people are often wrong……

— Janeane Garofalo

Yes, I think lots of people are eager to obtain weapons of mass destruction. But there's no evidence that he (Hussein) has…

— Janeane Garofalo