“You want us to bargain with a lizard?” “They’re not lizards, Father. They’re extraordinary creatures who were here long before any human… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Men like to create unnecessary organizations and give them impressive or mysterious names; this usually ends in increased confusion, and should therefore… — Elizabeth Peters Copy Share Image
“He smiled again. I kept staring. Then I said, “My name is Tillary Quilter.” “You called. We have an appointment. I’m a… — Shelly Reuben Copy Share Image
'Funny People' is my favorite performance of myself to date. Even though it's a comedy and there are serious moments, I really… — Jonah Hill Copy Share Image
“Julian tried to keep a pleasant smile on his face, though already it felt strained. He was uncomfortable with people who used… — Bentley Little Copy Share Image
Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the - in the Middle East to do everything they can to… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Scarlet: “But you’re bleeding pretty bad…and you’re probably in a lot of pain—“ Tristan: “I’m fine." Scarlet raised a brow. “Fine. Bleed… — Chelsea Fine Copy Share Image
When I go back to the stage, I want to be able to do everything. I want to be able to do… — Eddie Murphy Copy Share Image
“I can't take a dick-measuring contest." . . . "I know Meshack has a big one. And from what I've felt, Zulu… — Kenya Wright Copy Share Image
“He didn't say "that's weird". He wouldn't have said "that's weird" if a flock of sheep had cycled past playing violins. It… — Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“(pg.31) "As it was, my first days on Earth were somewhat anticlimactic. Mother and Father seemed so happy tempting and corrupting that… — George Pendle Copy Share Image
“so if you go to a King Tut exhibit someday and notice cracks or burn marks on the artifacts, or maybe a… — serpent's shadow Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“It is better for a realist to bend his will and ethics to accommodate a true friend than it is for him… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
Comedy, in my opinion, is best when it's in the gray, and you're kind of pushing people's thoughts that they sort of… — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
That being said, some of my favorite poets are extremely funny. The aforementioned Matt Rohrer, for instance. Mary Ruefle. James Tate might… — Matthew Zapruder Copy Share Image
“Fat-heided creatures, the Carmichaels," she said judiciously. "Loyal enough, but stubborn as rocks." "Thus sayeth a Fraser," I remarked. "The Carmichaels must… — Diana Gabaldon Copy Share Image
“Will that be all?” I asked the pimply faced teen who ogled my exposed legs as if in heat. My pen tapped… — Brandi Salazar Copy Share Image
“She was of course the last person to judge somebody by the color of their skin - or if not absolutely the… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I was sitting on your couch, relating my succession of ideas on subconscious influence. I asked… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim’s. “None of that in my house!” Oh my gods. The alpha… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I love 'Cheers.' I didn't watch it growing up, but I watched it getting ready to do the first season of 'New… — Elizabeth Meriwether Copy Share Image
The author I wish I was reading right now and always is Nora Ephron. I love the humor, the awareness, the sense… — Garance Dore Copy Share Image
“They’re only askin’ you to do one thing. From what Rogue says, you ain’t exactly reluctant.” “F**k myself into a coma. Sure,… — Michelle O'Leary Copy Share Image
Dali Lama said, 'when you open the heart of the person with humor, you can tell him the most truth. But if… — Marina Abramovic Copy Share Image
The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“ Abyssinias "I met a traveler from an antique land Who said: A huge four-footed limestone form Sits in the desert, sinking… — Henry N. Beard Copy Share Image
“The rituals surrounding vacations among Manhattan's wealthiest and best-connected citizens are strange and specific. By vacations I don't mean country houses, which… — Anna Quindlen Copy Share Image
“My parents are in many ways embodiments of the American Dream. They came to this country with basically nothing but the clothes… — David Henry Sterry Copy Share Image
Proper driving etiquette demands that you basically get close enough to a car in front of you at a busy intersection that… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“Josh Funk and Hunter Fraser: we haven't been in touch in years, but you made me feel like the funniest kid in… — B.J. Novak Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be an actor. I did drama at Manchester University and then had a stand-up comedy double act with… — Mathew Horne Copy Share Image
The thing that makes 'Dirty Jobs' different is that it's one of the few shows that portrays work in a way that… — Mike Rowe Copy Share Image
“Stop stalling and spill the beans. What’s up?” Alexi tossed down her fork and leaned in close so no one else could… — Jennifer Saints Copy Share Image
“Are you watching the boats?" Cornelia guessed. She craned her neck to see if there was any excitement on the river. Heavens… — Lesley M.M. Blume Copy Share Image
I believe singing should be like being an actor. People shouldn't have any problem buying an actor being in a comedy or… — Darren Criss Copy Share Image
There is a real affection for these human beings on these stage that O'Neill really had. Out of that affection comes a… — George C. Wolfe Copy Share Image
“Sorry. I get attacks of quotitis every once in a while. It's a very rare disease with no cure. It usually attacks… — Madeleine L'Engle Copy Share Image
Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I think the things that I enjoy most about directing theater, or works that are really visceral in terms of comedy and… — Alex Timbers Copy Share Image
