“I had a dream about you; you were a zombie in a post-apocalyptic world. I was the only human left, you tried… — Rodney Jenkins Copy Share Image
“Write what you know," my ass. Now, I'm not suggesting that you write about my ass. But although you do not, in… — Robyn Parnell Copy Share Image
I think that doing comedy and playing Dwight is a service. Not to get grandiose about it, but I have a talent… — Rainn Wilson Copy Share Image
I think that it's hard for vain people to be funny. I think you can look any way you want as long… — Taran Killam Copy Share Image
“Strange, how in all those apocalyptic movies, when their society breaks down into lawlessness and anarchy, Canada is always the haven of… — Jenifer Mohammed Copy Share Image
Don't get me wrong. I like Disney World. The rest rooms are clean enough for neurosurgery, and the employees say things like… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Comedy is way more difficult than drama. What I might find funny, the editor might not find funny. They might choose the… — Neil Patrick Harris Copy Share Image
The subtle differences in language and humor that get lost in translation, for example, make it almost impossible for big companies to… — Larry Gelbart Copy Share Image
Humor is a bit like Mary Poppins' sugar-it helps the medicine go down. A little bit of humor allows people to think… — James Fadiman Copy Share Image
People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like swearing on the air. As a matter of fact, I'm not a prude, but I go to the movies… — Brian Lamb Copy Share Image
Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“You look fabulous," he told her, and kissed her. "Oh, crap, now I've got glitter, right? Leatherface does not do glitter. It's… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
I think the biggest survival instinct that Midwesterners possess is self deprecation, it's almost a Buddha-like sense of humor in anything that… — Amy Pietz Copy Share Image
“While serving one of his countless sentences of imprisonment, he was given ex-wrestler Paul as cell companion. Paul was at that time… — Arthur Koestler Copy Share Image
“Remember that a little learning can be a pleasant thing. Italy gives much, in beauty, gaiety, diversity of arts and landscapes, good… — Kate Simon Copy Share Image
“Rare contact creates a stir. Gossip spreads. Tensions build. Denying Pissec, miserable Obelmäker and repressed Baumauer are all seething-jealous – openly or… — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
“I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have a childhood that was _not_ like mine. I have no real… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“Come! Come sit by me. It’s a nice bench. Nice and lovely on the butt.” “You’re drunk.” “Yeah, and you’re ugly, but… — Sara Wolf Copy Share Image
“As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Six express tracks and twelve locals pass through Palimpsest. The six Greater Lines are: Stylus, Sgraffito, Decretal, Foolscap, Bookhand, and Missal. Collectively,… — Catherynne M. Valente Copy Share Image
“Though, when I'm proven wrong and the underprivileged masses storm my palace and burn me at the stake, I'll be sure to… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“Businessman sat in his car calculating the net worth of everyone who passed and he noticed something peculiar. While some people were… — Andrew Kaufman Copy Share Image
“And if Bitsy was so all-fired set on everything being perfect, she wouldn't have scheduled the damn thing on a football Saturday.… — Lexi George Copy Share Image
“What should I do?" I turned to Negin. "I don't know." "Are you a doctor or not?" I screeched. "As I have… — Tom Ellen Copy Share Image
The object of a comedy is not to correct morals or ridicule the vices of society; no, a comedy should depict the… — Vissarion Belinsky Copy Share Image
“I once took a city with five men and a lame goat. If I can do that, you can convince the necromancers… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
That's why our comics are important: they're pointing things out and laughing at the same time. There have been horrible, horrible times… — Lynne Tillman Copy Share Image
It always astounds me that over the course of my career, and having lived in four comedy cities - New York, Boston,… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
That's the nature of comedy. You always want to be improving and growing and changing with what's happening in the world. That's… — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
“There will be others, many others. You’ll try desperately to digest a single word through the acronym-laden gibberish, while beginning to wonder… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
I personally just want to do as many different things as I can do, whether it's comedy, drama, science fiction, horror, narrator...… — Colin Farrell Copy Share Image
When you have an entire amphitheatre of people laughing that way, it makes you feel so funny and it frees you to… — Kelly Ripa Copy Share Image
My grandpa was an amateur stand-up comic when I was growing up. ... He'd have me come up onstage with him to… — Rachel Bloom Copy Share Image
“I wish someone had just told me the truth right up front, as soon as I was old enough to understand it.… — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
Observe it, the vulgar often laugh, but never smile, whereas well-bred people often smile, and seldom or never laugh. A witty thing… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
I listen to a lot of podcasts, which are split down the middle between comedy and board game podcasts, and a couple… — Rich Sommer Copy Share Image
When I was a little kid, I was a huge fan of 'The Kids in the Hall.' They were like my boy… — Weyes Blood Copy Share Image
“How are babies made?" Visibly startled, Jordan turned and opened his mouth, as if he intended to speak, but for some reason… — Judith McNaught Copy Share Image
Comedy is like fictional charm. It's the charm of fiction. Or the charisma of fiction. When you meet somebody who's immediately charismatic,… — Joshua Ferris Copy Share Image
