Jenny Lawson

“If I cannot see the moon, I'll make my own.”

— Jenny Lawson

Dissension is healthy, even when it gets loud.

— Jenny Lawson

“Spoiler alert: Bambi’s mom doesn’t make it.”

— Jenny Lawson

One ox, two oxen. One fox, two foxen.

— Jenny Lawson

“The shiny people are a lie.”

— Jenny Lawson

A hug is like a strangle you haven't finished yet.

— Jenny Lawson

Knock-knock, motherfucker.

— Jenny Lawson

I had no idea how complicated and solitary it could be to write a simple book.

— Jenny Lawson

I'm pretty sure 'ferral cats' is code for 'vampire cougars.

— Jenny Lawson

I try to be appreciative of what I have instead of bitter about what I’ve lost.

— Jenny Lawson

“I turned to my cousin, "My turn-ons are Rainbow Brite and unicorns.”

— Jenny Lawson

“Don’t just be some random person. Be the MOST random person.”

— Jenny Lawson

“No one ever expects vaginal arthritis. (Or the Spanish Inquisition).”

— Jenny Lawson

High School Is Life’s Way of Giving You a Record Low to Judge the Rest of Your Life By)

— Jenny Lawson

“There are few advantages to growing up poor, and not having money for therapy is the biggest.”

— Jenny Lawson

When I'm blogging, I think book writing is easier and vice versa. Writing is lonely work, and the good thing about blogging…

— Jenny Lawson

When I was little, my father used to sell guns and ammo at a sporting goods store, but I always told everyone…

— Jenny Lawson

Writing about my illness put me into places. It was very triggering. I had to completely remove myself and practice self-care. I…

— Jenny Lawson

If you could hear the insane stuff going on in my head, it would scare the hell out of you. Probably. Or…

— Jenny Lawson

It’s amazing how much you’re missing in a depressive state until you start to come out on the other side. It’s like…

— Jenny Lawson

A house should look lived in, and I consider it clean as long as I don't stick to it and it doesn't…

— Jenny Lawson

When Hailey was born my first thought was that I needed a drink and that hospitals should have bars in them.

— Jenny Lawson

“I MADE MY CATS A WATER BED OUT OF A ZIPLOC BAG AND A SHOEBOX. THEY POPPED IT WITH THEIR CLAWS AND…

— Jenny Lawson

I picked up the phone to call the police, but then I considered how it would sound when I told them that…

— Jenny Lawson

“And don’t bother to deny it, because you just read it, so you have to be thinking about it. This is the…

— Jenny Lawson

“I rocked in silence, and realized for the first time that 'home' wasn't this place anymore. It was wherever Victor was. It…

— Jenny Lawson

“This theory worked well for my sister, who has never been sick a day in her life, and is one of those…

— Jenny Lawson

“Whenever I tell people I have arthritis they usually say, "But you seem so young," which is sort of a backhanded compliment…

— Jenny Lawson

Having your book edited is like watching your cat being operated on. It's uncomfortable and someone is probably going to get hurt.…

— Jenny Lawson

I was having problems with depression and anxiety disorder, and it felt like not blogging about it was creating a false history.…

— Jenny Lawson

Grandpa did everything at his own pace, a speed that my sister and I referred to as 'when snails attack.' ... My…

— Jenny Lawson

“Victor kind of rolled his eyes when his mom went on about all the debutante balls Victor had gone to with these…

— Jenny Lawson

I was always shy. Writing was my only outlet. Because I always hid in a room, I spent a lot of time…

— Jenny Lawson

“There's a very mean girl down the hall who's trying to get me fired. I'm no good with confrontation, so whenever I…

— Jenny Lawson

“I know other people who are like me... They are brilliant and amazing and forever broken. I'm lucky that although Victor doesn't…

— Jenny Lawson

“Some people are afraid of flying, and I am too, but not in the way you think. I’m afraid of getting stuck,…

— Jenny Lawson

“Really, the only people you should be comparing yourself to would be people who make you feel better by comparison. For instance,…

— Jenny Lawson

“It’s my personal opinion that airlines can do two things to make air travel better for everyone. The first is to have…

— Jenny Lawson

No," I replied testily. "I'm pretty sure 'digital' is Latin for 'fingeral,' so finger cancer equals digital cancer. This is all basic…

— Jenny Lawson

I very much own the fact that I'm a misfit. The Internet makes everyone realize they're screwed up.

— Jenny Lawson