Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“You know why doctors slap babies on the bottom when they're born? So the dicks fall off the smart ones." He laughed.… — Barbara Elsborg Copy Share Image
I feel like it's a dangerous and dark world if 'Sunny' becomes mainstream comedy. If you were to turn on CBS at… — Rob McElhenney Copy Share Image
The interesting thing is that you don't often meet a poet who doesn't have a sense of humour, and some of them… — Wendy Cope Copy Share Image
“Yeah, sure. You know I can't stand the sight of blood, right?" "Said no one ever while dating a vampire," he quipped… — Krisit Cook Copy Share Image
So many more people recognise you and want to take up a moment of your time for a photo or a hello.… — Matt Smith Copy Share Image
“I believe in children praying--well, women, too, but I rather think God expects men to be more self-reliant. I don't hold with… — Joseph Conrad Copy Share Image
'Something Borrowed' is looking like a romantic comedy, but it's a comedy. It shines as a comedy; it's definitely not just about… — Ashley Williams Copy Share Image
“I could write an epic poem about your thighs.” “That would amuse polite society rather too much, and I wouldn’t like that.”… — Christina Dodd Copy Share Image
I think that gay people in some ways end up forming a very different sense of humour to straight people. We all… — Jason Sellards Copy Share Image
“Babcock silenced himself when he caught a gratifying sight on the broker’s shelf—his finance book, Moving Ones and Zeros Around like a… — Jasun Ether Copy Share Image
It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
I worked on dramas before, I love sinking my teeth into something dramatic or a period piece, but there's something so fun… — Skylar Astin Copy Share Image
I knew racial discrimination at its worst in the 1930s. I lived with the humility of it but I never lost my… — Nipsey Russell Copy Share Image
“You poor lonely boy,' she cried, 'it's so dreadful for you to have no parents.' Well, as my mother was a whore,… — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My oldest brother used to take me to the theater. The first play he took me to see was 'Black Comedy,' then… — Nathan Lane Copy Share Image
I was lucky to develop in the U.K. because I find comedy - in addition to being caustic - it's quite literary… — Katherine Ryan Copy Share Image
“You don't have to say a thing except yes. You don't have to do anything, either, I'm quite willing to plan it… — Karen Hawkins Copy Share Image
and he would probably not agree with my conviction that a sense of humor is the main measure of sanity. But who… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
“Santa was dead, to begin with. There was no doubt whatsoever about that. The after-action report was signed by the field commander,… — Chris Lester Copy Share Image
“Michael felt as if his heart might burst. With the death of the council he had felt as though he had lost… — Wendy Owens Copy Share Image
“There was dust everywhere: dust on the cracked and rheumy window; dust over the drugget that made shift as Mr. Guyle's carpet;… — D. J. Taylor Copy Share Image
“preemptive strike n. A blow or punch delivered by military aircraft to a target who is suspected of being adverse to one's… — Leslie Starr O'Hara Copy Share Image
Jesus must have had a sense of humor. I like to think of Him as a guy who got people to listen… — Bil Keane Copy Share Image
“Your ability to survive anything that gets thrown at you sometimes leaves the rest of us swallowing ulcer medication for days afterward.… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“Must you always speak with so many pop culture references?" "I must, yes, but no one's making pop culture anymore, so I'm… — Peter Clines Copy Share Image
Laughter and tears are meant to turn the wheels of the same machinery of sensibility; one is wind-power, and the other water-power;… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“For example, they recently had a piece on a character--I think his name was Ambrosio D'Urbervilles--whose "design statement" was to stuff an… — Mark Helprin Copy Share Image
“Sex is what you boast about when you have no exterior signs of wealth. It's a way of saying, "Look, I might… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I have no way to describe this, and I am positive that this is all just a horrible dream I have yet… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“God has a funny way of reminding us we’re human. [About his impromptu water break during his delivery of the GOP rebuttal… — Marco Rubio Copy Share Image
Do you know the most important trait a man can have? It is not executive ability; it is not a great mentality;… — Dale Carnegie Copy Share Image
I wasn't disciplined at all. As good of an athlete as I was, I was not disciplined. Had I had the drive… — Bernie Mac Copy Share Image
“At that moment, Bobbie Faye felt an unbridled hatred for every movie heroine who'd ever raced away from he villain in Jimmy… — Toni McGee Causey Copy Share Image
“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
Because I was a shy and awkward child, I used humour to deflect attention. It was a controlling mechanism. Because I could… — Catherine Tate Copy Share Image
“Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write… — Lili St. Crow Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person who has one-night stands, and instead of feeling guilty about it feels… — Caprice Crane Copy Share Image
![“God has a funny way of reminding us we’re human. [About his impromptu water break during his delivery of the GOP rebuttal to President Barack Obama’s State of the Union on February 12, 2013]” quote by Marco Rubio](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/33b/marco-rubio-355_funny_god-has-a-funny-way-of-reminding-us-we-r_2269848.png)
