You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
The first thing I look for is the humor, because you can tell what the character's fears and insecurities are through the… — Lusia Strus Copy Share Image
I'm not funny. Never have been and, as far as I can tell, I never will be. — David Dobkin Copy Share Image
The first condition for comedy is that if you laugh at your own jokes, others won't laugh. You have to say something… — Saswata Chatterjee Copy Share Image
“There was no doubt in my mind that Daemon believed revenge was a dish best served in my face.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“Someone asked me when is my birthday? The poet inside me replied, "My birthday is on the last day of the year,… — Anamika Mishra Copy Share Image
During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
If Obama had his way no one would win a football game. Each score would be distributed equally and everyone gets a… — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
“Free enterprise runs on self interest. This is socialism and it runs on loyalty . . . if people were going to… — garrison keillor Copy Share Image
“The sight of Elgie flat on the slimy dock, groaning "My wife, my wife", with a gun pointed at him, and me… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
I'm a very jovial guy. I like to laugh, and when things strike me as funny, I don't hide the fact that… — Michael Rooker Copy Share Image
The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“I read the first few," said Jackaby. "I've instructed my duck to just file the rest directly under P. I left it… — William Ritter Copy Share Image
“I've been clinically diagnosed with sociopathy,' I said. 'Do you know what that means?' 'It means you're a freak,' he said. 'It… — Dan Wells Copy Share Image
“So much better for you to long for what you can never have, than to get it and have to face the… — Chameleon Author Copy Share Image
“There are now skin products supposedly created with 24-karat gold extract. I guess if financial times got really tough, you could always… — Gina Barreca Copy Share Image
If you have wit, use it to please and not to hurt: you may shine like the sun in the temperate zones… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
Prior to Wordsworth, humor was an essential part of poetry. I mean, they don't call them Shakespeare comedies for nothing. — William Collins Copy Share Image
“The earl could have made Napoleon comfortable in a room sporting a guillotine.” — Melissa Lynne Blue Copy Share Image
“The easiest lie ever told is a truth no one believes."- Sixteen Seconds” — Aubrea Summer Copy Share Image
Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
There's some actors that go easily between drama and comedy because they play the naturalism of the role, and they just have… — Nahnatchka Khan Copy Share Image
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom. — Alan King Copy Share Image
Girl I gottagive you a mouth to mouth to make sure your breathing,for some strange everyone stop breathing when you walked in — MrCountry Copy Share Image
In comedy there's a lot of drama, and in drama there's a lot of comedy. The two meet more than the word… — Ayo Edebiri Copy Share Image
I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation. — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
“Love is the antidote for all the fears, questions and worries that we accumulate in life.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Falling in love is like that: you always feel like a dumbass at some point, even if you know it‘s coming —… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
How come there's no terrorism with humor, which is a great way to humiliate your enemy? It's a great time for that. — John Waters Copy Share Image
I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I have done comedy and romance. So I thought why not try negative roles too. — Suniel Shetty Copy Share Image
Models never say, "I'm hot." They say, "Look at these clothes." Whereas, with comedy, you have to say, "I'm hot." — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Whenever I see 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels', a total comedy classic, I get the urge to feel the breeze of the south of… — Gwyneth Paltrow Copy Share Image
“I’d rather straighten my pubes with a flat iron than go on another blind date.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
Laughter is good medicine for the soul. Our world is desperately in need of more medicine. — Jim Stovall Copy Share Image
“What about that graveyard just down the road? Are all the Hilliards buried there?" "Just the dead ones.” — Sonia Gensler Copy Share Image
“I'm going to get 'I'M NOT FUCKING DEAD' tattooed on my chest." "That will become inaccurate at some point, " Omar pointed out.” — Domashita Romero Copy Share Image
I have admired Melissa Pritchard's writing for several years now for its wisdom, its humble elegance, and its earthy comedy. — Rick Moody Copy Share Image
