Humor Quotes · Page 544

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

— Alan Perlis

I think comedy should be left up to the professionals, that way everyone's safety is protected.

— Greg Proops

“How long have you been with Raphael?” “You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.” “What can I say? I…

— Nalini Singh

The trend the world over is comedy. People have enough tragedies in their lives.

— Priyadarshan

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

— George W. Bush

“We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car.
”

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

“If I wanted shit, I would have visited the privy, not asked for an audience with you.”

— Kiersten White

“If you do shit gold, Father, find a privy and get busy, he wanted to say, but he knew better. --Tyrion Lannister”

— George R.R. Martin

I'm a storyteller: the crux of the matter is to reach beauty, poetry; it doesn't matter if that is comedy or tragedy.…

— Roberto Benigni

“A writer needs a partner who can act as fuel to his artistic mind, yet has the great ability to sober him…

— Janvier Chouteu-Chando

“He did his best to explain this to Inspector Sloan afterwards. 'A funny feeling, sir.' 'Yes?' Funny feelings were not encouraged at…

— Catherine Aird

“She chuckles. "If you love it now, you should see it before. Back before there's more hotels and bars than shells. Back…

— Kristen Hubbard

“...definitely dramadies [are out], too. To me, if the writer can’t make up his mind if he’s doing drama or comedy, then…

— Jutta Profijt

“Mr Spacey has decreed that we will be going last. ooow! oh F**k. What's so bad about going last? Means you can't…

— 24 Hour Musical Gala Cast

“Whales are silly once every two years. The young are called short-heads or baby blimps. Many whale romances begin in Baffin's bay…

— Will Cuppy

“Dippy sniffs box. Dippy cannot comprehend challenging concepts such as "inside" and "outside"- attempts to balance on folded box edge. Dippy falls…

— Amy Petrie Shaw

For making a good comedy film, you need a good writer whose craft can be understood through the time that he takes…

— Johnny Lever

God Almighty Himself must have been hilarious when human beings so mingled iron and water and fire as to make a railroad…

— Kurt Vonnegut

Now if the harvest is over, And the world cold, Give me the bonus of laughter, As I lose hold.

— John Betjeman

It's both funny and sad which seem to me to be the two basic ingredients of good comedy.

— Tony Hancock

“Fuck the Inners, and fuck their magic Jell-O...Just wearing their fancy arm probably turns you into an asshole,”

— James S.A. Corey

Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.

— Steve Martin

I want to do literally everything. I think I was gifted... I inherited one of the best comedy visionaries as a director.

— Marlon Wayans

When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's…

— Frankie Boyle

I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.

— Dat Phan

“She whipped her tentacles away from his fingers decapitating the dead lobster-dog and its body fell from the ceiling fan.”

— Athena Villaverde

I wasn't doing the comedy thing at all for six months. And it was just eating at my soul.

— Josh Blue

“Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Well, you know, I think the American people are sacrificing now. I think they're waiting in airport lines longer than they've ever…

— George W. Bush

“I live in my mind, such that whatever destroys me shall be a creature of my own invention.”

— Genevieve Ross

“I can’t recommend the food at that place, because they wouldn’t let me eat.”

— Hunter S. Thompson

I think horror comedies tend to skew more comedy than horror, for the most part.

— Elijah Wood

“I couldn't see myself as some twenty-first century Shirley Valentine, sitting on the rocks, a thousand miles from the nearest Waterstones.”

— Anthony Horowitz

If you really look at me, eight out of ten films I have done is comedy. Humour is the safest bet.

— Arshad Warsi

“Kei: Is there anything else you need while I'm here, Your Highness? Cabot: No, but you can leave the sarcasm in there.”

— Stefne Miller

“But...he's a demon. Isn't that sort of the main category of Things to Smite?”

— Bethany Frenette

I met someone who said they'd figured out my genre: "madcap redemption comedy." I'll buy that.

— Harold Ramis

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game…

— Amy Alcott

“Kade usually found humor in the absurdities in life, because life itself was absurd.”

— Elizabeth C. Mock

“Women want a lot of sex with the man they love; men want to have a lot of sex with a lot…

— Dermot Davis