Part of my humor is the fact that I love coming out of left field. I don't want people to expect what… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
“Bridget was so excited to see the giant Colin Firth statue, she almost had a stroke. But she couldn't quite reach.” — Bridget Golightly Copy Share Image
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other... — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Dubya! What in Tarnation!? Why, I'll tan yer hide fer this!So, what's sex like after fifty, anyway? — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“There is no point in poverty if it does not make a rich man, observing it, feel better.” — Tom Morrison Copy Share Image
The thing about my comedy is that I'm so comfortable with my disability that you don't have a right to be uncomfortable. — Josh Blue Copy Share Image
Simon Pegg is terribly talented, very funny, such a delicious sense of humour. — Christopher Plummer Copy Share Image
“I rolled my eyes." Has anyone told you you have the maturity level of a four-year-old?” — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
Quite a lot of the American rappers will be a bit confused by the humor and a bit lost. But I think… — Miquita Oliver Copy Share Image
Right up the avenue, fly as a parachute, high as a paratroop ..ER, before he deployed, u ain't a d-boy, you a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I like to make the odd impromptu visit. It keeps management on their toes, wives in their place. You know." He shrugs,… — E.L. James Copy Share Image
“A sharp bolt of hunger hit Luther hard. His knees almost buckled, his poker face almost grimaced. For two weeks now his… — John Grisham Copy Share Image
If I'm really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I definitely knew I wanted to be an actor in high school. I was doing plays and musicals, and I loved 'Saturday… — Jerry Trainor Copy Share Image
My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
It needs to said that Gerard Brennan's The Point is terrific. Scorchingly funny, black humour at its finest and the most inventive… — Arlene Hunt Copy Share Image
“WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS? THE MAN'S A VAMPIRE! Yeah, but he's a really, REALLY sexy one. Night Pleasures” — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
I think I might like you funny huh. yeah really funny. but do i? I guess ill never know — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Humor and pathos, tears and laughter are, in the highest expression of human character and achievement, inseparable. — James Thurber Copy Share Image
“knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it into the fruit salad.” — Caroline Hutton Copy Share Image
Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“The broker said the stock was "poised to move." Silly me, I thought he meant up.” — Randy Thurman Copy Share Image
“ "Well-- I don’t know-- the cops might not respond too well to you looking through their windows with a telescope." ” — Tom Upton Copy Share Image
I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Humor, warm and all-embracing as the sunshine, bathes its objects in a genial and abiding light. — Edwin Percy Whipple Copy Share Image
I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?" — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
A baby's laughter is the most BEAUTIFUL sounds in the world.. Unless its 3AM, your home alone, and you don't have a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
THERE ARE TWO THINGS that don't have to mean anything, one is music and the other is laughter. — Immanuel Kant Copy Share Image
“Mark Twain said, "Humor is mankind's greatest blessing." Dorsey Bing said, "I'll take womankind's greatest blessing: more wine.” — CeCe Osgood Copy Share Image
“The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?” — Blackadder E Copy Share Image
All people are sad clowns. That's the key to comedy - and it's a buffer against reality. — Bob Odenkirk Copy Share Image
I love puns. I've been known to turn the car around just to take advantage of a good pun situation. It really… — Karin Slaughter Copy Share Image
“Oh, no," Maldynado said. "When I get my statue, I don't want it to be an image of me going up a… — Lindsay Buroker Copy Share Image
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.” — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
Maybe it's just because it's so damn cold there. You find humor in everything, 'cause the climate's so harsh, you have to… — Andy Dick Copy Share Image
Laughter brings in a special friendship. Laughter brings in love and laughter brings in a new wonderful life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To move wild laughter in the throat of death? It cannot be; it is impossible: Mirth cannot move a soul in agony. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you’re (linguistically) dead.” — David Crystal Copy Share Image
Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
