“So let me get this straight---May's a virgin, lesbian, doppleganger, wyvern's mate?” — Katie MacAlister Copy Share Image
“Celebrity Retrieval? I've never heard of them." "They're a kind of private Blackwater.” — Laura Castoro Copy Share Image
“Oh, and I need to known where Jersey is and if I have enough money to buy it.” — Anna Banks Copy Share Image
“people without sense of humor aren't much fun to be around, no matter how far they've gotten.” — Jane Stanton Hitchcock Copy Share Image
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a great comedy landed on my doorstep, I would find it hard to say no. — Eric Bana Copy Share Image
“We’ve found his lair in a mortal city called York—” “It’s New York,” Stelian said with a roll of his eyes, as… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“My imagination was running amok again. Twice in one night. This never happens when I’m sitting in front of a typewriter.” — Gary Reilly Copy Share Image
“What is the purpose of wealth if it cannot serve an ideal that enhances humanity and betters the lives of the people,… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
Humor is not an unconditional virtue; its moral character depends on its object. To laugh at the contemptible, is a virtue; to… — Ayn Rand Copy Share Image
“You know how people are always threatenin' to shove this or that up someone's ass, but they never really do it? Well,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I have the sick fantasy that whatever I see at the movies is going to happen to me at home. My bladder… — Bailey White Copy Share Image
“What I'd like to read is a scientific review, by a scientific psychologist--if any exists--of 'A Scientific Man and the Bible'. By… — H.L. Mencken Copy Share Image
I think the essence of humor has not changed. It's all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed.… — Bette Midler Copy Share Image
Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert. Those are the guys I look at who are telling me pretty much the truth. And… — Grace Slick Copy Share Image
“His (Islamic astronomer al-Farghani) legacy also endures through the Italian writer and poet Dante (1265-1321), who derived most of the astronomical knowledge… — Jim Al-Khalili Copy Share Image
If chocolate was a guy...he'd totally be my boyfriend. He knows how to comfort me in all the right ways. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The height of a man’s wall or fence is usually a reflection of the depth or shallowness of his neighbours’ pockets.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“When it comes to your self-esteem, it is best not to value the opinions of deluded psychopaths.” — Rosen Trevithick Copy Share Image
Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“He who walks with the wise will be wise, Scripture saith, and he who walks with the witty will eventually start to… — Douglas Wilson Copy Share Image
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him will believeth in anything.… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
Life is funny and it is interesting how we make it as serious as possible. — Elisha Cuthbert Copy Share Image
“Standards only move in one direction. At the beginning of the world, standards were established and they've been slipping ever since.” — Edward Stevenson Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Drama is easier to do because you just have to have the emotion and not get caught acting, but comedy is much… — Patrick Dempsey Copy Share Image
The world belongs to those who set out to conquer it armed with self confidence and good humour. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I have to say, old friend, you were supposed to help train her, not drop her off a cliff.” — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“What I want is a beautiful and sophisticated piece of ass that happens to be 'bi.” — Scott Jonathan Nixon Copy Share Image
“My father looked on in disbelief, overwhelmed that his son had been taught to eat glass and relish it.” — Tahir Shah Copy Share Image
“To be the altar boy at the first Mass of the day was a sacred initiation rite. It was like being hazed… — Ian Morgan Cron Copy Share Image
“Anyone ever tell you that you’re too damned stubborn for your own good?” [...] With my sweet disposition? I’ve never heard such… — Jennifer Ellision Copy Share Image
I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion. — Anthony Anderson Copy Share Image
“You going to let him talk to me like that?” Driggs said to Lex. “Defend my honor, woman.” “Defend your own honor,” — Gina Damico Copy Share Image
“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster.” Friedrich Nietzsche” — Skip Clark Copy Share Image
“You have to be out of your mind. What kind of clinic lets people operate on themselves?” “Well, Suture Self.” ” — Steve Bates Copy Share Image
Another relative?" Valek asked. A broad smile stretched Moon Man's lips. "Yes. I am her mother's uncle's wife's third cousin. — Maria V. Snyder Copy Share Image
I sometimes think humor and satire are more effective techniques for expressing social statements than direct comment. — Kristin Hunter Copy Share Image
“It shows something, though: if you're going to be soulless, you should at least consider outsourcing your conscience to someone else.” — Josh Bazell Copy Share Image
![“Anyone ever tell you that you’re too damned stubborn for your own good?” [...] With my sweet disposition? I’ve never heard such a thing.” quote by Jennifer Ellision](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/fa2/jennifer-ellision-39346_funny_anyone-ever-tell-you-that-you-re-too-dam_1221784.jpg)
