Kevin Hearne

“What's a fracking Cylon?”

— Kevin Hearne

“This is great”

— Kevin Hearne

“Oh sweet kraken tits.”

— Kevin Hearne

“a misbegotten cockwaffle.”

— Kevin Hearne

Bring it,muthafuckas.Bring it.

— Kevin Hearne

“May harmony find you" Atticus”

— Kevin Hearne

“Atticus:"Damn it, Jim, I'm a Druid not a Physicist!”

— Kevin Hearne

Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning

— Kevin Hearne

“didn’t deserve that kind of trauma. He was so tiny.>”

— Kevin Hearne

“War always takes your life, sometimes not all at once.”

— Kevin Hearne

“I Keep a Wholesome Table." Manannan Mac Lir”

— Kevin Hearne

“Did you just say Ragnarok is poppycock?”

— Kevin Hearne

Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.

— Kevin Hearne

“Careful with that ego, you could knock somebody over." Atticus”

— Kevin Hearne

“If Jeff wished to pursue the matter he'd have to leave his beer, and I felt intuitively that he would never do…

— Kevin Hearne

“They may have been victims at one time, but what you have to focus on is what they are now.”

— Kevin Hearne

“Their numbers swell like viruses until they madden someone with a large army.”

— Kevin Hearne

“Saint Lassie smiles upon me! It's Coyote, with a bag of goodies.”

— Kevin Hearne

That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.

— Kevin Hearne

Bullshit, as you Americans say. He's Irish. The Irish say bullshit too.

— Kevin Hearne

“the bog was already bigger than a king’s ego and at night darker and more dangerous than a badger’s arsehole—ye just really…

— Kevin Hearne

“What I'd truly been avoiding was love, the strongest binding there is, and the pain that scrapes at your insides when the…

— Kevin Hearne

That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” "I’ve run into some of those at the…

— Kevin Hearne

I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the…

— Kevin Hearne

Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?" Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice.

— Kevin Hearne

“So this means you're spoiling me right?" Can't Help it. You're the best hound ever. Oberon's tail thumped a few times and…

— Kevin Hearne

“Strange how we unconsciously steer ourselves into new spectacular mistakes while trying to avoid repeating our past failures.”

— Kevin Hearne

“He didn’t spend time on niceties like saying hello. He answered the phone with, “Have you changed your mind about Thor?” “Um…

— Kevin Hearne

“I think this man might actually possess supernatural powers. He makes people lose their minds and I’m sure some of them do…

— Kevin Hearne

Brighid’s eyes flashed with a blue flame, and I wondered if she had learned to do that just so she could compete…

— Kevin Hearne

“Lord Bacchus, can you hear me? Nod if you can hear me." Bacchus dropped his hands and nodded. "You have never killed…

— Kevin Hearne

Turns out that once you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life…

— Kevin Hearne

Hey Atticus, do me a quick favour before we go? its easy. Sure. What is it? Hold Granuailes staff for just a…

— Kevin Hearne

“I am often reminded how a small fire underneath a vast sky can bind people together like nothing else. For all that…

— Kevin Hearne

“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the…

— Kevin Hearne

“There were times when I was blown away by the virgin beauty of the land. Kind of like that guy who lost…

— Kevin Hearne

I didn't respond, because naked people never win arguments.

— Kevin Hearne

“Three gods, two Druids, and a selkie walk into a bar …”

— Kevin Hearne

Wow you need to get some sun.” “Shut up. I'm Irish.

— Kevin Hearne

“Atticus, ixnay issingpay off the oppercay.>”

— Kevin Hearne