“Oberon "Did Middle English hounds bark with an extra syllable on the end? like 'woofe'?” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“It’s odd how a dog roaming around is a health code violation but serving fried death on a stick isn’t.” — Kevin Hearne Animal Copy Share Image
“Canine Psychology 101. Seriously don't look at it, (the T bone steak) Look for the dastardly villain." Atticus” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“it shall be called the Triple Nonfat Double Bacon Five-Cheese Mocha!”>” — Kevin Hearne Mocha Copy Share Image
Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan — Kevin Hearne Gods Copy Share Image
“If Jeff wished to pursue the matter he'd have to leave his beer, and I felt intuitively that he would never do… — Kevin Hearne Humor Copy Share Image
Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it. — Kevin Hearne Crime Copy Share Image
“When in doubt, know your way out, I always say.” “I thought you always said, ‘When in doubt, blame the dark elves.’ ”… — Kevin Hearne Doubt Copy Share Image
“Oberon "Holy revelations Druidman! She's on to us!" Atticus "Gods below, I think you're right! Quick, to the Geekmobile!” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“ You're tell me those are gnomes pretending to be dwarfs pretending to be elves? Are you trying to play Six Degrees… — Kevin Hearne Elves Copy Share Image
I tend to vacillate between belief systems. Right now I'm kind of checking out the whole buffet, you know, and maybe in… — Kevin Hearne Belief Copy Share Image
“Failure is rarely a conscious decision and it’s often out of our control, determined by things like physics and circumstance and other… — Kevin Hearne Conscious decision Copy Share Image
She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Two days ago she watched me kill someone, and she offered me her backyard as a place to hide the body.” “Truly?”… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I think he got your goat, Atticus! And I've been meaning to ask you about the expression. When people get your goat,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet… — Kevin Hearne Electricity Copy Share Image
Not everyone can be bribed with meat, Oberon." "They Can't? Oh! you mean they're vegetarian." "No, they eat meat. It just doesn't… — Kevin Hearne Decision Copy Share Image
“That's the famous vampire Helgarson you're riding with, isn't it? Is he fond of lattes?" "I don't know." I looked over at… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." <"Cool word! It rhymes with trumpet. And pump it. Why didn't the Black Eyed Peas use it in their song? Aren't rappers always looking for cool new rhymes? They should kick it old school with the Bard.>” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“You can be told that reading Victor Hugo will sap your will to live, but you can’t understand what that means until… — Kevin Hearne Writer Copy Share Image
For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The color palette is confined to that of a Gustave Dore' engraving, greys and blacks, and subtle shadings of these rendered in… — Kevin Hearne Color Copy Share Image
“Their numbers swell like viruses until they madden someone with a large army.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“They may have been victims at one time, but what you have to focus on is what they are now.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Bullshit, as you Americans say. He's Irish. The Irish say bullshit too. — Kevin Hearne Bullshit Copy Share Image
On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Saint Lassie smiles upon me! It's Coyote, with a bag of goodies.” — Kevin Hearne Animal Copy Share Image
That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous. — Kevin Hearne Beer Copy Share Image
“Oberon perked up, "Awesome! I've never seen a base model elf before! But they come with bonus dudes?” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Cowardly? Bleh. Tell you what: Let’s debate the meaning of honor and see who lives longer. The” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire." Oberon” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes. — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin’ me lawn and killin’ what Brits come around. — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not." ~Oberon — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“But there was no going back to that idyllic time when only one god wanted to kill me.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“We should make a pit trap with spikes in the bottom. You make the pit and I’ll make the spikes.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I hope that if I ever travel two thousand years into the future, there will still be bacon.” — Kevin Hearne Bacon Copy Share Image
