Life is a double-faced creature; one face is tragedy, the other one is comedy. We have no way but to face the… — Mehmet Murat Ildan Copy Share Image
“Leif stared at me, utterly still, the way only vampires and pet rocks can manage.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
I took a job in a comedy club - not doing stand-up comedy, because that's my idea of hell, but in the… — Phoebe Fox Copy Share Image
The mightiest of weapons is truth. And everyone knows you're not permitted to enter a Government building with a weapon. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
I feel as ignored as a white crayon, the first piece of bread, Internet explorer, the terms of agreement, and the 18yrs+… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
“Everything in this room is eatable. Even I am eatable. But that, my dear children, is cannibalism, and is frowned upon in… — Ashley Clegg Copy Share Image
“I'm not going to tell you to trust me, because that's a terrible idea.” — Stephanie Garber Copy Share Image
“He wanted more, as did I, but we still had a ways to go. I wasn’t a tease and my demands seemed… — Jaime Reed Copy Share Image
The irony or humor of my pieces is never really calculated, but they somehow always end up that way. Humor, especially when… — Larissa Sansour Copy Share Image
Comedy needs to happen naturally and be in touch with the character. When you see that guy in your office that everybody… — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
“Though most tourists accepted the occasional comic misadventure, it was important to them that overall their vacation should be pleasant. When you… — Alison Lurie Copy Share Image
“Perhaps we could say she’s a mad maiden aunt who insists on chaperoning us everywhere.” “My aunt or yours?” Jem inquired. “Yes,… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Come, come," I said. "You may be a lord someday, but you aren't one yet. No need for the courtly manners, and… — Julie Berry Copy Share Image
“Honestly, the only question most Americans ask about a new building at this point is basically: Is it a soul-sucking eyesore of… — Sarah Vowell Copy Share Image
You can’t. He has it shielded. Besides, he’s a god and can be a nasty one if you upset him. You try… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
'The spider is more sacred of you than you're scared of it!' Oh really, did it tell you that?! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Studies show adolescent males often make decisions based on sex. Many fail to grow out of it.” — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
“FEBRIZIUM();” said Buggeroff, and the foul smell immediately disappeared as if by, well − Magic.” — Sorin Suciu Copy Share Image
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
If I didn't go into comedy... maybe I would've been a funny meter reader. — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
I feel like I don't really have a sense of humor... I don't know if I could characterize it dark or light.… — Sandra Oh Copy Share Image
All good activities which encourage people to learn how to live with one another pleasantly and to develop a sense of humor… — Leonard Carmichael Copy Share Image
I do comedy in my room by myself, so it's so different to see how that all works and get the behind… — Kian Lawley Copy Share Image
“I took a deep breath and sighed in awe. My proverbial penis had just gotten a serious chubby.” — J.L. McCoy Copy Share Image
“It is perhaps a sign of the strength of our republic that so few people feel the need to participate. That must… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Don't bend over backwards for a person that's never there for you UNLESS you're bending over for them to kiss your ass. — Sonya Parker Copy Share Image
“You know, he doesn't have to be the only one bopped in the noggin when noggin-boppin' time rolls around.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You're in trouble for that," I told Bennett. "Will said he's going to 'Vietcong' on you” — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
I don't understand how somebody wouldn't have a sense of humor about themselves. — John Malkovich Copy Share Image
“Just assume that you don’t know anything – that’s a good place to start from in any situation.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“The last time everyone loved or at least liked everyone was when the world had a population of about 4.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'd love to do a comedy like 'Bridesmaids;' I think that would be so fun. I would play the Kristen Wiig character. — Emma Roberts Copy Share Image
“When I said I'd follow you to hell and back, I wasn't trying to be literal, princess.” — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
“Want to come over to my place?" I asked him. The sparkle in his eyes danced in humor. "I don't know," he… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I've always liked using humor, but what I had to with 'Chewing Gum' was take out a lot of darkness so it… — Michaela Coel Copy Share Image
“Abrakadabra, und alles verwandelt sich in einen großen Haufen Scheiße.” — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“well I believe in commitment it's just I, you know, I don't stick to it.” — Jim Lewis Copy Share Image
