Comedy is incredibly hard. You have to be loose. You have to be not afraid to fail. — Bill Hader Copy Share Image
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through! — George Lopez Copy Share Image
“He would make a good lamp post if he'd weather better and didn't have to eat.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Even if it doesn't work, there is something healthy and invigorating about direct action — Henry Miller Copy Share Image
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Women are under-represented in TV comedy for a variety of reasons, the hackneyed 'fear that women aren't funny' being one of them. — Victoria Coren Mitchell Copy Share Image
“Luckily, I was not born a white man.* *This has never before been said in the history of humanity.” — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The Napa Valley is Disneyland for alcoholics. Be honest, you're not visiting wineries in four days because you're an oenophile,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“(The Mona Lisa), that really is the ugliest portrait I’ve seen, the only thing that supposedly makes it famous is the mystery… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
“Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours,” I said. “I’m not even going to be able… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I would love, love, love to do a comedy like 'Gentleman's Guide,' something farcical and fast-paced, but I also want to do… — Joshua Henry Copy Share Image
“The first time Dad tried Rollerblades he had a bad wipeout on the sidewalk in front of our house- his feet went… — Evan Kuhlman Copy Share Image
It's not all about love. That's half of it... The other half is about that moment you have with yourself when you're… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
The first time I went over to [my director's] house, he said to me, This is a very strange play. I was… — Suzan-Lori Parks Copy Share Image
I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other… — Bob Uecker Copy Share Image
Payday is only the illusion of having money for a couple of hours. Then it's payday for everyone I owe money to. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
I ain't shootin' nobody. So call me a faggot! When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs, thank you! — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“Some people will insult your intelligence by suddenly being nice or nicer to you once you make it … or they think… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Don't think about the writing process too much. Just do one thing: tell the motherfucking story.” — Don Roff Copy Share Image
“Good problems and mushrooms of certain kinds have something in common; they grow in clusters.” — George Pólya Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Chandler shouted after us, "And I hope that was all-natural food coloring you put on my dog!” — Lisa Lutz Copy Share Image
We were the only ones interested in comedy. Everybody else wanted to be Martin Scorsese. — Matt Stone Copy Share Image
Laugh like it's the funniest thing in the world because laughter can stop tears, heal hearts, and give you a brighter view… — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
“Develop a prejudice; find evidence to support it and you’d have made yourself a logically evaluated, arguable opinion.” — Rajendra Punde Copy Share Image
“Always have someting in ur mind or you'll have everything on your mind.” — Corosive Copy Share Image
I've played farce on the stage, but I have never played any sort of comedy on the screen. — Peter O'Toole Copy Share Image
“My indiscretion was a part of my author mystique, just like Charles Dickens and Richard Madeley.” — Rosen Trevithick Copy Share Image
“The Universe is picking us off one by one. Yesterday part of the poop deck went, and with it all the toilets.” — Stanisław Lem Copy Share Image
I only did the comedy thing because I just thought I could do it better than anyone else at the time. And… — Keith Allen Copy Share Image
Comedy is not easy to do - where you make someone laugh out loud in their living room. — Ed O'Neill Copy Share Image
The sound of silence, when you realize that you have no kids… ha ha ha... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The scrupulous survivors in life are the best counterweight to unscrupulous survivors.” — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
Some people don't have a sense of humor about certain things, and other people do. — Nahnatchka Khan Copy Share Image
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“Jaime, dear, forgive me, but I don't think you are man enough to take care of my Cass. She's a special kind… — Mercy Celeste Copy Share Image
“If you walk out on him, I will beat you so hard your great-grandchildren will feel it.” — Angel Martinez Copy Share Image
“Look, I’ve got nothing against brains. Some of my best friends have them.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one's bottom. — Taki Theodoracopulos Copy Share Image
![“The first time I went over to [my director's] house, he said to me, This is a very strange play. I was pleased that he reminded me of that. [He] understands the play [VENUS] intellectually and emotionally and the humor, the funny bone.” quote by Suzan-Lori Parks](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/06d/suzan-lori-parks-20794_bones_the-first-time-i-went-over-to-my-directo_860136.png)
