Molly Harper

“Stupid werewolf ninja sperm.”

— Molly Harper

“Trivia monologue. You are so the man for me.”

— Molly Harper

“Misery, thy name is Mudslide”

— Molly Harper

“Lace it with Ex-Lax. It will do her some good.”

— Molly Harper

“This is not how people behave in a Cracker Barrel!”

— Molly Harper

“Ah, spite, the stuff of fairy tales.”

— Molly Harper

“I sighed. 'Ah spite, the stuff of fairy tales.”

— Molly Harper

“Oh, go sting the BumbleBee.”

— Molly Harper

“My mother had spent one hundred dollars on shipping to send me cookies, antimeat propaganda, and laxatives.”

— Molly Harper

“I don't care what tomorrow brings, as long as I have you.”

— Molly Harper

“It was not healthy for one man's smile to make my panties spontaneously combust”

— Molly Harper

“When you’ve taken all you can, walk away. Be the bigger person. Or at least find a bigger person.”

— Molly Harper

“This is how southern woman worked all peaches in cream laced with arsenic ”

— Molly Harper

“Delicious baked goods were the great work hostility equalizer, no matter how unorthodox the workplace.”

— Molly Harper

“What do you want from me, Maggie? Advice? Absolution? Go forth and be a bitch no more.”

— Molly Harper

“You’ve got sex hair … or crazy cat lady hair. They’re remarkably similar.”

— Molly Harper

“You are the night." "I am the night," I repeated. "You are the night." I cocked my head, sending him a questioning…

— Molly Harper

“The fact that these kits [vampire protection] were generally useless didn’t bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water…

— Molly Harper

“Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word "bitch" is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that. "Hey there, bitches!"…

— Molly Harper

“My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at…

— Molly Harper

“What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope…

— Molly Harper

“Maybe the problem was that we never struggled. We just coasted along. The thing about coasting is that it usually means you're…

— Molly Harper

“What was the step down from vampire chauffeur? Werewolf walker? Pedicurist for Bigfoot? I would have to Google that in the morning,…

— Molly Harper

“I’ve never done this before. I didn’t go to human bars. Mudslides aside, I’m not much of a drinker. Club people are…

— Molly Harper

“We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it…

— Molly Harper

“I forced myself to open my eyes. I was a Puckett, damn it. And Pucketts didn't lose our nerve. We schemed, we…

— Molly Harper

“I fixed your car," he said, tossing the keys from a jade dish on the little maple end table. I palmed them…

— Molly Harper

I think my books are lighter and funnier than some of the big series out there. You may not walk away from…

— Molly Harper

“Aunt Jettie: "yes, i'm wandering the earth seeking revenge on ben & jerry for giving me the fat a$$ and coronary &…

— Molly Harper

“Up until two years ago, I was one of the top-selling real estate agents in the tricounty area. I went to a…

— Molly Harper

“Jane gave me an expression she called the “stink-eye.” I returned it with the bitch-brow. And we sat back and let the…

— Molly Harper

“And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing,…

— Molly Harper

“Johnny Cash had all of the same talents and problems as Elvis - a poor upbringing in the rural South exposure to…

— Molly Harper

“I haven't had a lot of good, soft things in my life," he said against my forehead. "Not since my family sent…

— Molly Harper

“Not one word about proposals, no matter how much she pushes,” I told my friends. “No matter what she says or how…

— Molly Harper

“It’s that time of the month again… As we head into those dog days of July, Mike would like to thank those…

— Molly Harper

“Eva seemed to be on some sort of mission to work her evil/cute baby magic on me. Ever since she'd started toddling…

— Molly Harper

“I am your sire. I am to guide you through your first days as a vampire. Your first feeding is a rite…

— Molly Harper

“My color schemes were limited to what would go with the pewter-gray gown...except for the bridesmaids' gowns. I'd already decided that they…

— Molly Harper

“Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than…

— Molly Harper