“I let Eli blow so much smoke up my skirt I'm surprised I don't have ass cancer.” — Molly Harper Smoke Copy Share Image
“To say I had some pent-up anger would be like saying Britney Spears had minor impulse-control issues.” — Molly Harper Anger Copy Share Image
“Did I just get psychically pimp-slapped by a little old lady?” — Molly Harper Funny Copy Share Image
“Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.” — Molly Harper Funny Copy Share Image
“Hi Maggie, it's nice to see you again,' he said, smiling so sweetly I thought I might need insulin.” — Molly Harper Comedy Copy Share Image
“Besides if we went to jail I would sell you for cigarettes.” — Molly Harper Cigarettes Copy Share Image
“You can’t just leave a Mississippi Mud Mountain half-eaten! We leave no cupcake behind!” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Why is your fiancée insisting that I dress like Naomi from Mama’s Family?” — Molly Harper Family Copy Share Image
“...yourself into an information-overload-fueled frenzy, convinced that you could arrange the whole wedding yourself, and eventually killed one of your loved ones… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“You will treat my underwear with the reverence it deserves. Next time, you will stop and appreciate--hell, you'll marvel at the miracle… — Molly Harper Next time Copy Share Image
I have lived in Kentucky all of my life. I am married to my high school sweetheart, David, a local police captain… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I think the very word stalking implies that you're not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called 'fluffy harmless observation… — Molly Harper Stalking Copy Share Image
“Why couldn’t I have spent the last few months like this, wrapped in his arms, drinking in the warm, spicy scent of… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“I held it together for the rest of the drive home but as soon as Kelsey dropped me off I flopped face… — Molly Harper Contemporary-comedy Copy Share Image
“Wait until you meet my family. At Thanksgiving, we kill everything we can find, put it into a pot, and call it… — Molly Harper Contemporary-comedy Copy Share Image
“I want to be cremated. And I want my ashes spread over the lake, so I’m always with you, hangin’ around, silently… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“If looks could kill...well, Dick was already dead, so nothing would happen. But Gabriel was not laughing. "See Dick," Dick said, pointing… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“I think it would be best if you came down from there before I explained that." "I think I'll stay right where… — Molly Harper Gabriel Copy Share Image
I was that weird kid that checked out all of the non-fiction paranormal studies books from the library. I've always been fascinated… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“He stroked a hand across my shoulders. "You know, I've never seen this agressively intellectual side of you before. It's rather disturbing… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“That was the time he tried to tell her that she had to leave the valley and go to college. I believe… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“What can you do?" he asked. It took me a few seconds to catch up to Daddy's question. He was asking about… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Welcome to the fascinating world of the undead! Please use this guidebook as a handy reference as you make your first steps… — Molly Harper First step Copy Share Image
“I wanted to call you, but I find myself feeling...awkward when it comes to you." "'Awkward' is the word du jour," I… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“We don’t have problems”, Gabriel insisted. You killed someone! I killed someone for you! Well, pardon me if I don’t think that’s… — Molly Harper Gabriel Copy Share Image
Vampires have bright eyes glistening white teeth unnaturally smooth skin and a certain animal magnetism. If they aren't pretty they starve. It's… — Molly Harper Animal Copy Share Image
“Life is for living, sweetie. It's for taking chances and trying to grab up every little piece of happiness you can latch… — Molly Harper Happiness Copy Share Image
“He’s wearing a T-shirt that says, ‘One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.’ I don’t think I’ve ever seen a vampire in… — Molly Harper Tequila Copy Share Image
“Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours,” I said. “I’m not even going to be able… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“When you encounter unpleasantness from the human population, try to keep in mind that you will be able to dance on their… — Molly Harper Dance Copy Share Image
“If one is going to spend her afternoon singing hymns to the great porcelain goddess, she might as well do it in… — Molly Harper Contemporary-comedy Copy Share Image
“You're right, it was a bad phone," I said, lifting an eyebrow. "Look at it, lying there, all superior. The phone had… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“To the highly organized mind, death is just another adventure. ‘That’s from Harry Potter,’ I said. ‘Dumbledore said it in the first… — Molly Harper Death Copy Share Image
“Tell them you're pregnant with a married minister's baby, then say, "Just kidding! I'm a vampire,'" she suggested.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“I poked him in the chest. 'First of all, yes, it was. Lacy cards and love tokens were widely exchanged even in… — Molly Harper Love Copy Share Image
If you want to hurt me, fine. Take my books. Burn down my house. Shave my head while I am sleeping. But… — Molly Harper Book Copy Share Image
“He was always 'checking in' to see if I needed any help with my campaign, which on the surface seemed nice enough,… — Molly Harper Condescending Copy Share Image
“The best way to get over a messy break-up is to spend time with a supportive group of friends. The best way… — Molly Harper Best way Copy Share Image
“...I supplied in a tone so saccharine that it should have tipped him off that his testicular health was in serious peril.” — Molly Harper Contemporary-comedy Copy Share Image
