It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course. — Hank Aaron Copy Share Image
It's dangerous talking about comedy; it gets to be very tedious and presumptuous. — Christopher Guest Copy Share Image
“I can’t deal with angry people until after I’ve had my morning coffee.” — Henning Mankell Copy Share Image
“To say I had some pent-up anger would be like saying Britney Spears had minor impulse-control issues.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“It's not easy taking care of one's self, determining nap lengths and all that, but with two people it's a manageable job.” — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
I believe if I make God angry one more time. I'll be eligible to win a free Bible — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“But she’s a nice lass.” “Addolgar, she poisoned you.” “But she didn’t kill me. That’s what’s important.” — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're actually telling the truth, but you're laughing so everyone thinks you're lying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I wasn't entirely surprised to find Elodin on Stonebridge. Very little about the Master Namer surprised me these days. He sat on… — Patrick Rothfuss Copy Share Image
I'm quite a confident person in many ways, but there's only so much you can hear about being compared to Hattie Jacques.… — Miranda Hart Copy Share Image
There's always something every night that I learn from reacting to what the audience is reacting to. You learn what to leave… — Tony Bennett Copy Share Image
“Horst passed him a bottle he had picked up in his rapid trip from there to here. Remarkably, it's contents had survived… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
Humor is like a rhythm; it's like music. And you throw a couple of extra syllables in, you wreck the beat and… — Betty White Copy Share Image
For me, comedy is constantly presented as this fake casualness, like a guy just walked on stage going, 'This crazy thing happened… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I do some very high energy comedy, vaudeville, music hall stuff, and people who've seen my work on camera, on TV and… — Denis Lawson Copy Share Image
“After that, I’d wanted to date, but I simply didn’t know how. It seemed to come natural to everyone else, pairing up… — Lesa Howard Copy Share Image
“I'm quite convinced that it's energy and humor. The two of them combined equal charm.” — judith krantz Copy Share Image
“What good is it to be rich if we canna scrape up the scratch to buy a political prisoner on a whim?” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods. — George Burns Copy Share Image
“This is a Southern gift, isn't it - tremendous self-regard diluted with humor and modesty. That's what they mean by Southern charm,… — Michael Cunningham Copy Share Image
“When you’re by yourself you can act as mature as you want, or as silly as you want – it makes no… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
If you are not on TV, you don't really exist. I want to bring my comedy to the world and tell my… — Gad Elmaleh Copy Share Image
“Brother, when beauty falls into your hand, you hold on to it while you can. You could be dead tomorrow. Well, that’s...… — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
You'll make more friends with a blunt rock than with a kind word. Or not. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
“Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
“Why it's simply impassible! Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible!” — Lewis Carroll Copy Share Image
“It doesn't make any difference what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and… — Mrs. Patrick Campbell Copy Share Image
Comedy is in your pocket. Pull out your phone and you have access to some amazing comedians. — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
“Mr. A calls me into his office and says he's got bad news and bad news, and which do I want first.… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically… — Bernie Mac Copy Share Image
“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
When love feels like magic, it's called destiny. When destiny has a sense of humor, it's called serendipity. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In comedy, though, it's good to get feedback from the audience about what they find funny. — Bobby Farrelly Copy Share Image
“We´re going to be eaten! I don´t WANT to be eaten! I´m only twenty-three minutes old!", screamed the Creature (...)” — Guy Bass Copy Share Image
“Yeah, but the lost diadem," said Michael Corner, rolling his eyes, "is lost , Luna. That's sort of the point.” — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“Grant me a sense of humor, Lord, the saving grace to see a joke, To win some happiness from life, And pass… — Jean Legrand Copy Share Image
“Single guys can easily simulate some of the joys of marriage simply by installing one of those GPS devices that use a… — Barry Parham Copy Share Image
The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed oftwo great qualitiesa sense of humor and a sense of proportion. — Franklin D Roosevelt Copy Share Image
Comedy is commitment and playing a character and falling into the role, and I've been doing that since I was 19 years old. — Chris Jericho Copy Share Image
“Are you taking me off to the woods where no one will see when you kill me?" Becky asked.” — Kim Law Copy Share Image
