Coleman Jacoby and Arnie Rosen won an Emmy and Mel Brooks didn't! Niezsche was right! There is no God! There is no… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when you both look at each other and then suddenly, you dont know why both of you are smiling — Teejay David Copy Share Image
“Nevertheless, he had, on a certain star-lit evening, said wonderingly and quite reverently: "Deh moon looks like hell, don't it?” — Stephen Crane Copy Share Image
“Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Myrna was not astigmatic; the lenses were clear glass; she wore the glasses to prove her dedication and intensity of purpose.” — John Kennedy Toole Copy Share Image
“You know you can be as sweet as you want, or as tough as you want, or both at the same time.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me,… — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
“Some of the young ladies even ate the salmon without concern to vital humors--when everyone knew colored fish flesh could bring on… — Gail Carriger Copy Share Image
“Prejudice in this country is like chapters in a book. Chapter One: Hating the Africans and Indians. Chapter Two: Don't forget the… — Emilie Richards Copy Share Image
“The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“She tried a Christian dating site but it felt ghostly, with too few men, and even fewer Black men. The only man… — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Copy Share Image
“You are my whole heart, Scarlet. And this is breaking it.' My heart cracked open and clear dropped out of me. My… — A.C. Gaughen Copy Share Image
Sense of humor. A girl who doesn't take themselves too seriously. And someone who is spontaneous. They're the three things for me… — Christopher Egan Copy Share Image
The strength of comedy is I don't have to answer to anybody, but sometimes you want to learn from other people and… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“Grace gave her a gentle smile. "You know what the answer is, don't you? Chocolate. It's always the answer, no matter the… — Suzanne Wright Copy Share Image
“Given the choice between fulfilling love and a washing machine, young people in the U.S. and the Soviet Union both chose the… — Kristin Ross Copy Share Image
Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It is mock hostility, of course, or it would be ugly; we would have a war. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
“Polly had arrived in the world outraged to discover that her sisters had gotten there before her.” — Liane Moriarty Copy Share Image
We trust, sir, that God is on our side. It is more important to know that we are on God's side. — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Then her mother – as skilled in the art of ambush as most mothers are – startled her with her furious, echoing roar.” — John Flanagan Copy Share Image
There's an art to stupid comedy. There's an art to offensive comedy, and I think the key is it's just gotta make… — Hayden Schlossberg Copy Share Image
I think as creatures we're incredibly sociable, and I do think comedy brings us all together. — Rosie Jones Copy Share Image
“BUSY old fool, unruly Sun, Why dost thou thus, Through windows, and through curtains, call on us?” — John Donne Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream.” — Amy Summers Copy Share Image
Saying something funny and then someone says it louder and gets all the credit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails” — Steve Aylett Copy Share Image
And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike. — Wanda Sykes Copy Share Image
“Shield me, kind heaven, what an inundation of impertinence is here coming upon us!” — John Vanbrugh Copy Share Image
Forgetting how to smile is like forgetting how to think because you have to think something is funny.. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
If you like dry humor, Henrik Stenson thinks he's very funny, but I think I'm very funny in a dry sense as… — Tommy Fleetwood Copy Share Image
“Get that Property Of Whitford Public Library stamp and stamp it right on his forehead. Then cross out the library's name and… — Shannon Stacey Copy Share Image
“Hey, mister, I don’t think so. You go outside and yell at sky, you so angry.” — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
“Without humor, we’d all be what we’re laughing at. Without arrogance, we’d be humiliated to admit we already are.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I look over at him. He stares straight ahead. "So," I say. "Golem, huh?" "I prefer the term 'Mineral-American.” — D.D. Barant Copy Share Image
At Evergreen you can create your own major and your own classes. So I actually studied stand-up comedy. — Josh Blue Copy Share Image
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
