“I'm the first to admit that I don't write right. Now, relax and enjoy the show! The sideshow, that is.” — Lori R. Lopez Copy Share Image
I don't know if humor has a place for it but being light hearted does and not to take it too seriously. — John Assaraf Copy Share Image
And I definitely gravitate toward people who use laughter to pull themselves out of the abyss. — Lea Thompson Copy Share Image
I love playing people who don't have a sense of humor for instance, there's nothing funnier to me than a person with… — Rita Moreno Copy Share Image
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it. — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
“If the sky falls, we shall catch larks./Když nebe padá , zjímáme skřivani.” — Czech proverb Copy Share Image
“In a world of full of manipulation, half-truths and lies, the conspiracy theory is often a safer bet than the official story.” — Gary Hopkins Copy Share Image
I got some tartar-control toothpaste a while back. I've still got tartar, but it's under control. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“The sole agents, indeed, in the action of her novels are individual human beings. And the comedy is the outcome of their… — Mary Lascelles Copy Share Image
“There was one field in which man was unsurpassed; he showed unlimited ingenuity in devising bigger and more efficient ways to kill… — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
“Life makes fools of us all sooner or later. But keep your sense of humor and you'll at least be able to… — Paul Murray Copy Share Image
“Iain didn't know what to say to her. They had all asked an incredible amount from her. She was such an innocent,… — Julie Garwood Copy Share Image
“The second man I meet is Andrew, and he has dirty fingernails so I can't notice if he is nice or not.… — Gabrielle Zevin Copy Share Image
It's often pointed out that in Cuban cinema there are too many comedies, but a sense of humor is so much part… — Fernando Perez Copy Share Image
“You are sad," the Knight said in an anxious tone: "let me sing you a song to comfort you." "Is it very… — Lewis Carroll Copy Share Image
The comedy I do on TV came from me being at art school and seeing Gilbert and George films, thinking they were… — Vic Reeves Copy Share Image
“Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior."- Hun, A. T.” — Robert Lynn Asprin Copy Share Image
“Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera." — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
“He cracked his crooked smile that made all women swoon except the ones who wanted to slap him. Faye was a fence-sitter… — Sarah Scheele Copy Share Image
“Dance in the rain, follow the path of lovely lanes, you are what you always wanted to be, so chill out, dear… — Santosh Kalwar Copy Share Image
There were too many idiot men in the world, to her way of thinking. And most of them ended up bumping up… — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“When words come out of your mouth, do your ears just block all incoming sound waves?” — Amethyst Marie Copy Share Image
“Why do you tell me you love me only when you're drunk or dreaming? she asked. I have awful timing, said Simon” — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“I call the Change of Life "Orchids" because menopause is such an ugly word. It's got men in it for goddsakes.” — Lisa Jey Davis Copy Share Image
“Your own shortcomings are the best ground to grow your sense of humor.” — Stu Konigsberg Copy Share Image
“I think Newtons third law failed in the case 'girls reply to boys action'..” — Kuppuraj Copy Share Image
“I like to write when I feel spiteful. It is like having a good sneeze." ( Letter to Cynthia Asquith , November 1913)” — D.H. Lawrence Copy Share Image
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
“If you learn to laugh at yourself, you'll be entertained for a lifetime.” — Lee McLaughlin Copy Share Image
“There are few things in life that are worth waking up to: sex, the dark spices of freshly brewed coffee and bacon.” — Dannika Dark Copy Share Image
I have no real enemies in comedy, but there are a couple of people who I'd laugh about if I heard that… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Her bouts of bitchiness were really starting to grow on him, which just proved how in over his head he was.” — Katee Robert Copy Share Image
As far as humor goes, I've always been a very insecure person and I've always wanted to be liked. — Peter Steele Copy Share Image
