“It is India and It will always be India forever "The Golden Bird" of Union World.” — Divya Soni Copy Share Image
Happy Hump Day! We're half way there to drinking cocktails and making decisions we will regret on Monday! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Audacious ribald: your laughter will finish in hideous boredom before morning. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“My pappy told me, 'When you read horror, it's best to read with the lights on.' I found it helps for most… — P.K. Vandcast Copy Share Image
“You know you're young when someone asks you for money and you take it as a compliment.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I have no excuse, neither real nor invented so I let my platinum express do the talking instead.” — Jonas Eriksson Copy Share Image
I'm a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn't have the heart to let him… — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
It's great to be able to connect parents with children both emotionally and through humor. I look forward to exploring family entertainment… — Jon Favreau Copy Share Image
“We were aiming for a cross between Kafka and Orwell, which just goes to show how dangerous it can be when your… — Ben Aaronovitch Copy Share Image
We even switched to a newly-formed church across the town that gave one hundred and twenty trading stamps each time we attended.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
“But mysterious caves and tunnels always have luminous fungi, strangely bright crystals or at a pinch merely an eldritch glow in the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Eddie Murphy is just so off-the-cuff and can make anything funny. You hope that someday you'll acquire that skill, but maybe you're… — Michael Pena Copy Share Image
“Stop saying drug use makes people lazy. Jimi Hendrix did a lot of drugs, even though he's been dead for forty years,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When your talking Malus domesticas' versus hesperidiums',your just compairing apples to oranges. — Graydon Archer Copy Share Image
Let's drink on the beach until we're no longer ashamed to show our bodies on the beach. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a… — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
XM radio doesn't have commercials, so after about thirty minutes of listening to it, I'm like, "What should I buy?" — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Sharing laughter is a way of casting delight to the wind so it blows everywhere and to everyone. — Paul Pearsall Copy Share Image
“Making sensible choices is short-term thinking; they never make for good memories.” — C.L.J. Barr Copy Share Image
I had used my sense of humor; I had called it proportion, perspective. But perspective is distance. — Bel Kaufman Copy Share Image
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“curse the genetics that turn me into a lobster after one hour in the sun while everyone else gets to look like… — A.M. Robinson Copy Share Image
“Cole: "One day you'll meet someone you can stand to commit to, and I'll meet someone who isn't batshit crazy." Hannah: "Oh,… — Samantha Young Copy Share Image
“I knew I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how deep—just that I still hadn’t touched bottom.” — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
Dear parents, I am fully aware that 'money doesn't grow on trees.' Sincerely, that is why I'm asking you for it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I believe comedy is the toughest genre to bring alive onscreen, but it's something that I really enjoy doing as an actor. — Riya Sen Copy Share Image
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My dark comic edge is the end result of trying to use humor to maintain my sanity growing up in a dysfunctional… — Kirby Wright Copy Share Image
Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If work isn't rooted in comedy, people will turn from it, or they'll use it like soap opera. — Israel Horovitz Copy Share Image
I lose my sense of humour watching shows that are made up entirely of clips of people hurting themselves. — Rebecca Front Copy Share Image
I think comedy is very easy. Its all in the writing. If the writing is good and you have good director it… — Chunky Pandey Copy Share Image
The Simpsons will end as soon as Fox is able to find an 8 p.m. comedy hit to replace it - so… — Harry Shearer Copy Share Image
“That's how come I learned to be funny, so that I'd have something to offer.” — From the film Copy Share Image
“When life hands you lemons sometimes you just have to say screw the lemons, and bail.” — Magan Vernon Copy Share Image
How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through? — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Sometimes, just sit down and have a cup of coffee with yourself. That can be a cool experience - of hanging out… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
