Bill Hicks

Humanity is just a virus with shoes.

— Bill Hicks

You all saw him - he had a gun.

— Bill Hicks

Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.

— Bill Hicks

Nazis are for the New Age concern.

— Bill Hicks

I've said all that I've had to say.

— Bill Hicks

What are you reading for?

— Bill Hicks

“It's just a ride.”

— Bill Hicks

You are the imagination of yourself.

— Bill Hicks

It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.

— Bill Hicks

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

— Bill Hicks

not all drugs are good.. some of them are great

— Bill Hicks

I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.

— Bill Hicks

We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!

— Bill Hicks

Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.

— Bill Hicks

To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference.

— Bill Hicks

What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?...

— Bill Hicks

Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!

— Bill Hicks

Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.

— Bill Hicks

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle…

— Bill Hicks

Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.

— Bill Hicks

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding…

— Bill Hicks

BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book.

— Bill Hicks

Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.

— Bill Hicks

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

— Bill Hicks

I think it's interesting how people act on their beliefs. A lot of Christians, for instance, wear crosses around their necks. Nice…

— Bill Hicks

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not…

— Bill Hicks

I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they…

— Bill Hicks

I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what…

— Bill Hicks

“They're puttin' music to AIDS germs--putting a drum machine behind them and a metronome beat and Ted Turner's colorizing them, goddamn it.…

— Bill Hicks

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the…

— Bill Hicks

Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham…

— Bill Hicks

Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No…

— Bill Hicks

“Here is my final point...About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography...What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, or…

— Bill Hicks

“...I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An 'avenging GOD'? One who created…

— Bill Hicks

I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid…

— Bill Hicks

Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed America, your government is…

— Bill Hicks

“Did you know that when a guy comes, he comes 200 million sperm? And you're trying to tell me that your child…

— Bill Hicks

You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got one word to ask you, a one word question,…

— Bill Hicks

“So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the [L.A.] riots... and all these Brit people are…

— Bill Hicks

I'm gonna share with you a vision that I had, cause I love you. And you feel it. You know all that…

— Bill Hicks