You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?...No, it's not...That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now! — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks; do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
You want a better world...? Legalize pot right now. ...end the deficit? Legalize pot right now...biggest cash crop in America. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I think it's interesting how people act on their beliefs. A lot of Christians, for instance, wear crosses around their necks. Nice… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care ... but you have to admit that beliefs are odd.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, "This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“...I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An 'avenging GOD'? One who created… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share
I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. — Bill Hicks Copy Share
I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now. — Bill Hicks Copy Share
You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted,… — Bill Hicks Copy Share
