“There is only a one thing worse than an idiot: An idiot with a following.” — Narcissismus Decimus Maximus Copy Share Image
I've just watched the whole series of 'Flight of the Conchords'. I absolutely love it - the humour, the actors, everything about… — Konnie Huq Copy Share Image
I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“Well, you didn’t think I’d just roll over, did you?” “Actually I was hoping for an on-all-fours sort of thing.” — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy. — Matt Lucas Copy Share Image
“A porcupine has fur like a fence. That makes it a good neighbor unto itself.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I never intend to grow old. The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life.” — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I got written out of 'G.I. Joe' and was like, 'Welp, I'm going to go back to what I do: writing and… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
Opening your cabinet, seeing there's no snacks! Opening Refrigerator nothing there either Then right after that, you go back to the cabinet… — Hugo Campos Copy Share Image
The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I really love writing comedy. Writing romantic comedy is even nicer because you get to write about how insane we all act… — Pearl Cleage Copy Share Image
A clever conjurer is welcome anywhere, and those of us whose powers of entertainment are limited to the setting of booby-traps or… — A. A. Milne Copy Share Image
My dad's sense of humor was direct and sometimes surreal - his quick wit is well known amongst our family and friends.… — Tony Visconti Copy Share Image
“You have the most infernal habit when anyone says the simplest thing to you, of letting your lower jaw drop and looking… — PG Wodehouse Copy Share Image
I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
The stuff that's going on is just so over-the-top, with the banking crisis and destroying the Gulf of Mexico, and the outrage… — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
If the audience knows you can be funny when you want to be, they will be willing to wait for that payoff. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The only cure for vanity is laughter. And the only fault that's laughable is vanity. — Henri Bergson Copy Share Image
“Dear God, what's it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.” — Sherlock Copy Share Image
Everyone's got their own velocity, and there's no real time frame with comedy. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers.” — Nick Cave Copy Share Image
I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits. — Donald Glover Copy Share Image
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
The singular sign of a parent who is doing their job is their unwillingness to let their children watch the Star Wars… — Heather Armstrong Copy Share Image
“They watched the rain and downed their Cokes like a pair of diabetics in a suicide pact.” — Paco Ignacio Taibo II Copy Share Image
Quebec from the boat looked like the ramparts where Hamlet's ghost might have walked. — Charlie Chaplin Copy Share Image
“Jayden cried out, "Shit, are you pissing on me?" With her eyes wide, she shook her head. "No, I think my water… — Toni Aleo Copy Share Image
“Don’t do things because you think you ought to – do them because you want to.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
A sense of humor is regarded as a sign of mental health - apart from excessive punning, which is another matter entirely. — Helen Cresswell Copy Share Image
“I have made up my mind that I will never marry. I shall be wedded to my art.” — L.M. Montgomery Copy Share Image
“It’s still all “ifs” “buts” and “maybes”.’ ‘Maybe,’ I said. ‘But if what I’m saying is correct …” — Terry Murphy Copy Share Image
I think stand-up comedy is this - it's this kind of indulgence and narcissism. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet. — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
'Bridesmaids' was phenomenal. It deserves every accolade it's gotten, and it's exciting for every woman in comedy. — Janet Varney Copy Share Image
“Love is annoying like that. It takes away your sense of humor and self-preservation.” — Audrey Hart Copy Share Image
“But the aspect of secrets is they leak out. If they didn't leak, they wouldn't be interesting.” — Clamp Copy Share Image
There's always a light at the end of a tunnel. Just pray it isn't a train! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Comedians aren't funny, because comedians try to be funny, and people who try to be funny aren't funny.” — Anonymous Blog Post Copy Share Image
“I was hoping against hope he'd refill his Prozac so we could be in love again, but, sadly, that never happened.” — Piper Faust Copy Share Image
I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
